Random Happenings in My Life Right Now

My mom is making me blog again, so this post may be a little random. As some of you may know, I read a lot of books, and while some people will read maybe two or three books at a time, I am currently reading about eight or nine, which is a lot even for me.  I am currently in algebra 1, and lets just say that math isn't my favorite subject, but I am doing well enough to keep my mom satisfied. We are learning about Columbus and the early explorers in history right now. It's ok, but I can't wait  until we get to the mid to late 16th century and the revolutionary war. I hope to be starting Latin by the end of the semester, and if not by then, then definitely by the end of the school year.  I am hoping to go out and work at Camp Mivoden again this summer, I'd like to go out for the whole summer if I get hired on as payed staff,  but if I don't I 'll probably try to volunteer for about 6 weeks if I can. Well I better be going, I have other home work to catch up on, and Castle is on tonight, and I want to be done by then so that I can watch it.

debris

One of our neighbors took down a tree recently and had all the branches and trunk sitting out in the street, waiting to be hauled away.  I drove by there twice today, and both times I got a knot in my stomach.  The branches/etc are gone, but what is left is alot of tiny pieces of tree debris laying in the street.  I'm amazed how the sight of that debris on the road brings up such feelings.  We are all healing, but there are still 'things' to deal with.  I'm sure they will increase as we get closer to the anniversary, and as storm season ramps up.  Please continue to keep us all in your prayers.

Sharon

A reply I wrote on Facebook that I thought I should share here...

A friend posted this as his status on Facebook:

Trust your Shepherd. He'll do anything for His sheep, especially if you're the one who ran away.

One of his friends, Roxie, replied:

How I wish I could be so sure and trusting as you are! I really need some guidance and self assurance!

Here is what I wrote: (I felt God helping me find the right words - praise goes to HIM!)

I don't know you Roxie - but I have felt the same way in the past (as recently as last March/early April) I've struggled with it ALOT through the years. But it is DEAD now. I prayed for God to remove it from my life, and He DID - in a powerful way - and EF5 Tornado hit our house on April 27 of last year. I will never again doubt His love and care for longer than what it takes me to remember how we felt Him walking with us through that day and the weeks and months to follow. He BLESSED us in the storm and protected us, and many of our friends and even our stuff. He used the tornado to remove debt and distractions from our lives and provide us with gifts and a clear understanding of the infinite love He has for us. 

My recommendation would be that if you wish for that - turn that wish into a prayer - if you ask God for something that is within His will HE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU - there is no if's, and's or but's about it. And having a closer relationship with Him is definitely within His will. BUT (and this is the tough part) beware- He might use a shocking method to draw you closer to Him!! Before you pray that prayer - brace yourself - the ride might get a bit crazy - but in the end - it will be worth it!!!


--  just thought I should share this here too, for some reason - hope it touches someone who needs to hear it.   And lest anyone think >> I <<  'have it all together' - please know that I am facing this next storm season with a fair bit of apprehension.  It seems to have gotten an early start with two 'storms' in January!  But I am exercising those 'trust Him' muscles and getting stronger and stronger.  Please continue to hold our family in your prayers!!

Every day is a potential tornado day??

Lon just dropped that little bomb shell on me this evening, as we were tucking instruments into the closet under the stairs because we are on tornado watch tonight until 5:00 in the morning (it's 11:30 now, and it started about an hour ago).  ( ! ) (that's a LONG one - usually they are for a few hours at the most) I had commented that it sure seems the storm season has started early this year, and he kindly pointed out this little fact about life in Alabama.  Every day has the potential of being a storm day.  It has more to do with where we live than what time of year it is - the time of year just makes it more or less likely, and more or less likely to be severe.  Ok - can I just say - I didn't probably need that little bit of information in my human data-base of a head.

I should probably stop and let you all know that we were able to recover most of my data, there were a few things lost and of course the HUGE inconvenience of it all, particularly in the fact that I essentially have a new computer and have to migrate all my stuff over to it, and not every thing migrated well, or easily.  And we also did an upgrade to Lion, at the same time (bad idea) so there is a huge learning curve there and a whole 'nother set of 'migration' issue.  So, life with the computer has settled down, though it is far from perfect - I end up frustrated with it not doing what I expect it to do on a much more frequent basis it seems.  However, once again, 'stuff was saved from the brink of disaster' but it is NOT all peachy keen. We ARE, however, doing REGULAR back-ups now.  : )  That is a good thing that came out of it.  

Anyway- just checking in - it's been a while.  Lon and I did take our trip to Hawaii in December. It was pretty wonderful.  Relaxing and fun, just what we needed.  There are a bunch of pictures up on facebook.

The holidays were very nice.  FEMA came through with money from the portion of the truck pay-off amount that wasn't covered on insurance and the portion of my leg PT that wasn't covered (plus some!).  So that helped for us to have a VERY nice Christmas.  It was also just a nice relaxing, family time.   Enjoyed that.  : ) 

Then, New Years weekend our friends, the Fernando's came over from Texas - so another trip up to the old house, so show them around - they had been out to visit us just about four weeks before the storm last year, and it was pretty shocking, for them to see that area, SO different!  It was also VERY fun to have them here - always lots of laughter when they come, and it truly is the best medicine!

It's been good to launch into the new year and get back into a routine.  It seemed that the fall was pretty broken up with trips out west (two, and then Hawaii) and other things going on, and so, now, we have a stretch of school/life ahead of us, that seems as if it can proceed without major interruption.  : ) That feels good.   Just to be in a routine, with predictable days feels nice. 

Lon is REALLY enjoying his job/work.  And we are hoping that his contract will be easily extended, as they really like his work, too. 

Emma has started a gluten free diet - she just has tummy aches so much, we sort of figured that we could try it and see what happens.  Certainly better than letting the doctor continue to throw this and that different heartburn med at it, which questionable results.  The diet seems to be helping, quite alot, actually, and we are only two weeks into it so far. 

I"m back on track for my weight loss - I had lost 15 pounds going into the holidays - gained just under half of it back, and am back on track now, to keep getting more and more off.  It feels good.  I'm using a meal-replacement plan called Visalus, and the ELMM plan - Eat Less, Move More!!

Not much else new - just same old same old, which is good.  I could use a little 'boring' in my life.  Kids are settling back down now, succumbing to sleep - perhaps I'll give it a try myself. 

Processing

There is a great deal of processing going on out here in Alabama right now.  Last week I read a short book written by the lady who put up all the pictures on Facebook that were found here and there all around the south, after the storms.  (see link provided on my post on May 18) I was struck by just how FORTUNATE we were that we were spared such devastating lost, as many experienced.  Their houses were obliterated, even Nan and Doug, I remember going over to see them at one point as we were working to recover what we could from our house.  Nan had collected a small pile of shards that she and other's had found from various kitchen items.  She was planning to make a mosaic out of them.  The fact that MOST of our stuff was saved has taken on a much more meaningful... 'heavyness'? is that the right word?  Perhaps gravity?  Then...

Thursday evening of last week my hard drive crashed. 

It took me a while to figure it out, but this is potentially a worse loss for me than the storm. 

Lon was supposed to be doing back-ups for me and hadn't been.  I could have done it myself, but I tend to leave 'tech-y' stuff to him.  If I try to do it, I end up bugging him all through the process of doing whatever it is I'm try to do, so it's just easier to leave it to him to do.  Well, he didn't.

All of our photos from our trip to the west coast two summers ago were on there, all of our storm photos, all of my homeschool records, including hugely complicated spread-sheets for lesson plans, and the gradebook, which shows what we have accomplished.  My journaling (other than this blog).  My passwords for various websites that I visit, our financial records (including another complicated spread-sheet), etc etc etc... the list goes on and on... 

Now - as of this moment in time it is not certain that it is all lost for good - we have sent the drive off to a 'data recovery specialist' - they will do their best to get what they can off and within 8-12 business days we should know what is recoverable and what is not.  They don't get paid unless they recover something - so it's a vested interest for them, to get as much as they can.  Very impressed with them so far - while I was online filling out a 'work-order' form to include in the shipping materials, I got a phone call from them, asking if there was anything they could do to help me through the process. They are aware that most people in my situation just had their lives turned up-on-end and might need a little hand-holding.  Very nice gentleman!!  The company is Gillware.  Hopefully none of you ever need their services, but if you do - they are the ones to use!!  Even if they dont' recover anything, I'm still impressed with the quality of their service. 

Anyway - back to the 'processing' -- I feel very much like I have lost as much or more than what we lost in the storm.  Often times, when people ask what we saved, the pictures are the first thing they ask about.  We saved (most of) our pictures.  Now we have potentially lost a good chunk of them. 

In talking with one good friend on Friday evening - I was conveying all of this to her and told her that that afternoon I had just sat in the car and wept.  I had to pull off the road, I couldn't drive.  I told her it was the first time I had really cried since the storm.  She pointed out that that was a rather telling statement!!  She's right.  I think this event has taken me to a place where I could do a little better processing of the stuff in April.  The fact that we came THAT close to losing EVERYTHING - oh - my - goodness!!!  Even losing life!!  It's a miracle that we didn't.  Honestly. I've been saying that all along, but a clearer understanding of it has just been forced into the very core of my being by this new 'loss'. 

Or, somehow, now, this removed (by time) from the actual event, I can stand back and 'see' it with new eyes, after reading the book, and then experiencing the loss that I experienced on Thursday afternoon.  Now I can more keenly understand the gravity of what has happened.

Another little piece that is playing in is that I went up to the old house on Sabbath with a friend who was here visiting from Washington.  I was telling her what houses were where, and which ones had people in them as the storm hit and which ones didn't, etc and it hit me (like a ton of bricks, actually - no pun intended) that the houses that had people inside of them were the ones that stood.  The ones that were completely demolished by the storm it's self (as opposed to being 'salvageable' inside, but still having to be torn down, later) were the ones that didn't have people in them. 

Now, granted, that was one little micro-cosom of our street.  There were two deaths on the next street over and four on the street just past that.  I have struggled just a bit with the fact that while I count my blessings, others have nothing to count.  I think I'm struggling with that more and more as I realize more and more just how blessed we were to be spared at the level we were spared at.  I want to take that energy and turn it into a compassion for those that lost more - or at the very least, a compassion for others that I hear about in the future that are hit by other losses.

Often, in the past, as I've come aware of others who are dealing with similar losses to the loss I was hit with at age 7 when my mother died, I have been 'scared' to get too close, I find it painful to come along side them and help them.  I hope that I have reached a place now, in my own healing, that I can get past that, and become someone who can comfort others, or at least sit, and FEEL with them.  It is a journey of emotional healingy that I'm on.  This new healing, and this new awareness, brings with it a willingness to feel those hard feelings and not try to stuff them down, but just feel them.  That is new thing for me.  It also brings a willingness to 'wrestle with God' over stuff that makes no sense.  Several books I've read recently and am reading now, have brought out that God VALUES our interactions with Him so much that even (perhaps, actually ESPECIALLY) when that interaction is me RAILING against Him for some human 'unfairness', He is just so happy that we are 'there' that it doesn't matter to Him, really, WHAT we have to say, as long as we are there, in His presence.  

The healing that has come, largely as a result of the protections and the palpable feeling of God being WITH us after the storm, has enabled me to be willing to 'feel' those emotions.  I'm still learning how, but I'm willing.  That's new.

There is a lot of "stuff" for Lon and I to work through, still, obviously.  We're working on it, and that will continue to take place over the next few days.  The fact that we have done this before, several years ago, and it sent me into a HUGE emotional tailspin that time, and now he has let it happen again is no small matter for us to work through.  But today, as I was driving, I think I hit on one of the lessons God wants me to take away from this - it's a lesson I've had to learn before, and apparently didn't learn all the way, so here I am again.  That is that HE is the only being whom I can successfully fit into that 'God-shaped' hole in my heart.  When I need protection, comfort, healing, etc, I need to turn to HIM, not to Lon.  If God chooses to use Lon to meet those needs, then so be it, but if He wants to minister to me directly or in some other way, then, so be THAT, it's GOD'S choice.  He wants the relationship channels between He and I to be clear of any obstructions, including the 'obstruction' of me leaning on Lon for things that God can provide for me Himself.

AND - in the midst of all of this, I'm 'acquiring' a MUCH keener LONGING for Heaven.  I'm tired of this old world and all the struggles involved in living here.  I imagine God is tired of watching our struggles too.  I'm ready to jump on the band-wagon of "let's get this job DONE, so that we can go HOME!"

So - that is the processing I'm doing today, thanks for hanging in there and reading this far.  Obviously, we have MUCH to be thankful for this year, as we head into the Thanksgiving season.  But also, we are still longing for your prayers to continue.  It's a process.  All of it is.  We're all in it together in one way or another, and praying for one-another is one way we can 'walk through it' together - even if we are far apart - please let me know how I can be praying for you too!!