"Christmas Letter" 2016

(first a note about the cards I sent - it really was intended to be a 'gift' of sorts, if you got the un-colored version of the card - many people are really enjoying the whole adult coloring thing, and I thought it would be fun to send out a little taste of it to share that fun with some of you - others got ones that were colored already, mostly by Mayahna.  Hope it didn't seem odd, to get one that was not colored yet- it was intended to be a fun thing for you to get to do.  Emma said it was weird, 'asking' you to color your own card.  I apologize if it came across that way, it was NOT my intent- I wanted to share the fun with you!)

It has been a very interesting year. Some of the most interesting parts are not the sort of thing that one shares in an open letter.  Suffice it to say that we appreciate, very much, those of you who keep our family in your prayers on a regular basis - there are on-going challenges, and new challenges, and the devil does not give up easily...  however, there are also joys, to share, and we will focus on those here:

I started the year looking to finalize my teaching certification quickly and simply, by transferring my Washington certification to Tennessee.  Instead, I found that I actually DID have to take Praxis tests.  Many Praxis tests. (mind you these are the types of tests that most people take, right after graduating from college, in order to qualify for teaching certification, so I was 'resurrecting' stuff I had studied 30 years ago!!) In the end there were 8 tests that I took, all together, - and here is the miracle: I passed them all, with pretty good scores, too, I might add - with the possible exception of one, for which the state has not posted what the passing score will be, yet) Only two of those tests were actually REQUIRED, to get my certification instated here, but the rest brought over other aspects of my certification and added some new ones, so that I'm qualified to teach more than just high school History (thank goodness!)

The last test I took was just a few weeks ago, in the first part of November and my most recent endorsement was added just a  days weeks ago.  I'm now (finally) done, and can say that I am a Tennessee certified teacher... looking for a full time job...  (keep me in your prayers) Hoping to work in the middle school grades, teaching math.  We'll see where God leads.  There is some exciting research going on in the field of math education, right now, and I'm hoping to be able to implement some of the amazing new methods in my classroom!

I was privileged to spend the summer working as the Creative Arts director at Indian Creek Camp, the church's youth/family camp, here in Tennessee. It was nice to be back in the summer camp world!!  And it's nice that the camp is only about 30 minutes from our place, so I can go home on my night off, and other nights, too, if I so choose (and if the kiln doesn't need to be run).  It was a great summer, making new friends and getting my hands in clay again.

Lon is still working at Schneider Electric - the '16 month' contract that he took that same week that the tornado hit, five years ago, has turned into five and a half years, now.  He enjoys the work and the people he works with, and while the commute is a bit of a bear, he is able to work from home as needed too, so it's not bad.  There is a group of friends there, that ride bikes together during lunch breaks, and another group that plays table games in the cafeteria, during lunch, and another group that enjoys going out to dinner together, every 5-6 weeks, always trying out some new ethnic food.  He takes part in all of those (and I join him for the dinners out!)  It's been a great fit, for him.  He loves his job.  That is such a blessing in our lives!!

Annie and Josh are settling into married life well. Josh landed his dream job (where he wants to retire!) with the College Place Police Department, in August.  He headed right off to Police Academy in Spokane for what was supposed to be 4 months. But after several weeks had to go home, because his shoulder was dislocated in a training exercise.  He'll go again, in the spring, once he is all healed up, which is going very well, so far.  Annie is working as CNA, for now, with plans to work on her RN, soon.

Sarah moved back down to the Huntsville area, right after Christmas last year.  She is attending community college there, taking Machine Technology.  She is *really* enjoying it.  We had thought it would end up being the first two years of a four-year degree in Mechanical Engineering, but she is enjoying the Machining so much, that she is thinking she'll just stay with this, possibly earning several different associates degrees in various aspects of Machine Technology.  She is working at Publix supermarket, and that's kind of fun for me, because whenever a friend goes there, shopping for groceries, they snap a stalker-picture of her, and send it to me!!

Emma had planned to attend boarding academy this year, for her senior year, but there were some complicating factors in our lives in May/June and her application did not get completed, so she is homeschooling this year, after all.  She is enrolled in several on-line classes, and doing several here, at home, independently.   She is finishing up her Jr. year, and also completing her Sr year, so that next fall she can go to Southern Adventist University, in Chattanooga, which is only about a two hour drive from here.  She'll be studying Pre-Med.  She has several friends from Alabama, and even from Portland, who are there already, and we've been over to visit, and will get over several more times, I'm sure, throughout the spring.  She's very anxious to get going on that part of her long road to being a doctor some day.

Ricky homeschooled for the last several months of last school year and is enrolled in the local public high school for 9th grade this year (he's the oldest/tallest kid in the class - 16 and 6' tall)  The blessing is that we have FINALLY found something that motivates him to DO his school work - the Football Team!  He's a 'manager' for now, but is hoping to someday be able to suit up and play.  Coach says he is concerned about Ricky's ability to pay attention to what's going on around him... so guess what Ricky is working on NOW!!  Motivation was always his bug-a-boo, so this is wonderful.   He's actually getting pretty good grades too (though admittedly he is in mostly remedial classes, but hey!  We'll take what we can get!!)  He says the team feels like a band of brothers.  Even though the season is over, they still go down to the team house, and work out together 3-4 days a week. Ricky also got baptized, this summer, during the teen camp week, by Pastor Ken, the camp director.  It was an exciting day for him.  He is working very hard on doing his best at patterning his life after Jesus'.



Tommy and Mayahna were enrolled in the local public school in February.  It is such an EXCELLENT setting for them.  Other than the lack of specific religious instruction, it's as good or better than many private schools (and we are more motivated to be sure that the religious instruction takes place at home, now, so that is a good thing, too).  Class size is 12-16, several of the teachers went to school here, and the principal was their teacher when they did!  It's a small, tight-knit community school, with high standards and a real family feel to it.  It is a blessing in our lives!!  We are grateful that we are zoned to such an excellent school, and had choices (homeschooling was considered, too - and used, temporarily, for Ricky, as noted above), when we felt the need to remove the children from the church school in February.  Tommy is 13 and in 8th grade, and Mayahna is 11 and in 5th.

This is a large marble, suspended with water pressure, so that you can spin it!!

  There was a bit of traveling this year.  We went over to Gatlinburg in March, for Spring break.  It was fun, and Great Smokey Mountains National Park is beautiful!  How sad to think that so much of it is gone, now.  But we'll go back, it's a fun area, and they will re-build!! Apparently the trees were not lost, as much as underbrush, and buildings, many, many buildings, but those can be replaced.  It was a blessing that the fires did not hit three days sooner, when the Thanksgiving tourists were filling all the hotels, there would have been much more loss of life.  While it was horrible, as usual, it is not hard to find God's hand in it, too, protecting so many, and providing for those who lost much.  It has been a joy, to see how the community and the state, have rallied around those who were impacted by the fires.  Many amazing stories!

Lon and Ricky flew out to Walla Walla in September, to do a 'guys time' backpacking trip, in the Wallowa Mountains, with Lon's dad, his dad's cousin, Steve (who always tagged along on such trips, when Lon was a kid) and Josh's dad, Wade Brooks - Josh 'could' have gone too, because he was already home from Police Academy, but someone else would have had to carry his pack, and he was only about a week past injuring his shoulder, so still on pain meds, and sleeping on the ground did not sound appealing for some reason...  so he stayed home.  Ricky was not too sure about the whole thing, but ended up having a good time, and came home talking about 'next year, when we go again'.  Plans are already being discussed!

While they were gone, I got a wild hair, and Em, her friend Joel, the kids, and I, installed a fire pit, in the back yard, in a perfect spot, where the previous owners had had a pool.  It turned out awesome and got a LOT of use over the fall months, and we even have plans to use it during the week that Sarah is home, between Christmas and New Years, it's supposed to be in the 60s!! Next project:  Wood-fired hot tub.  (and a new chicken coop)(and a sun-room) (and screening in the back porch, and...)

There was also a recent trip, up to St. Louis to see the kids' birth cousins and aunt.  We particularly enjoyed visiting the "City Museum" there (see photo of Mayahna above with outdoor museum features in the background.  If you are ever in St. Louis we would HIGHLY recommend a visit to this amazing place.  I was not sure whether I would be able to get Lon and the kids out of the place, when it was time to leave!!  Every city needs one of these places!!!!

Lon and I celebrated our 30th anniversary the end of November (how is that even possible?!).  We didn't have any big plans this year.  Just snuck away while the kids were in school and spent the day poking around in antique shops in Lynchburg (yes, of Jack Daniel's fame - it's a cute little town, if a bit one-sided in it's offerings!) and Bell Buckle.  It was a lovely day.   Maybe next year we'll manage to pull off that cruise we had hoped to do this year!! (anyone want to come stay with the kids?) This picture was taken at a wonderful couples day-retreat on Valentines day.  We are so blessed in this conference, to have a very active women's ministry team that provides excellent retreats for us ladies, and also for couples!! 



Emma and I were supposed to have flown out to Portland for Oregon Campmeeting, in July, but I couldn't pull away from Camp, so we flew out a few weeks ago, instead.  Em wanted to go do some of the Christmas things she remembered from when she was a kid - Zoo lights, Follow the Star... and of course we got out to the coast, and walked on the beach.  SO good to visit so many friends, and see familiar places.  Special thanks go out to those who hosted us, and fed us!!  We had a wonderful time. (and got out of town just in time - Portland got hit by a big snow storm the day after we left and no one went anywhere for several days!) (photos from this trip are below the close of the letter...below...)(I'm still learning, how to get things to arrange on the page, the way I want them to, in this program!)

Not much else is new, we just keep plodding along, working on projects around the house, learning new things about parenting, keeping in touch with friends, and pursuing a closer relationship with God (not necessarily in that order!).  Leave us a little comment below, so we know you came by!  We hope your family is blessed this Holiday season and that you feel God's richest blessings in the New Year!! 

Blessings!  Sharon, Lon, and all the kids...

(the rest of the pictures are all from the recent trip that Emma and I took, to Portland)

We had a WONDERFUL visit, with Celia,

a friend from Thailand, and her 'baby', Emma

Trips to Oregon almost always include a visit to the Tillamook Cheese Factory!

Lon's parents drove down and joined us for a day at the zoo, culminating in a wonderful stroll through Zoo Lights.

We drove up to the new home/community of our friends, Lisa and Greg Davis.  It was fun to see the school where Lisa is now working, and we had a great time, together.  Even learned how to play a new game, Camel Up.  Lisa Davis, and Lisa Sloop (pictured above, with me) are the two wonderful friends who keep the 'thankfulness blog' with me.  We even managed to sneak away for an awesome 'mommy time chat', and prayer together.  WHAT A BLESSING!!

My second cousin Tessie (who used to work for me, in my day care) lives in the Portland area, with her family, husband Tim (behind the camera) baby Elliot (on her hip)  (an ADORABLE little guy with a very HAPPY personality!! Such a Joy!) and her daughter Sicilia (far right) Tessie's sister Jessica (on my immediate left) was also there visiting that weekend with her kids, Dashel, (down in front, by the flowers) and Clara (holding Sici).







I finally got to meet Cole Calhoun, who is the son of Heidi and Mike Calhoun.  Heidi's mom Sally and my mom were good friends when we were kids, so even though she's like 10 years younger than me we played together alot, as kids.  Cole is a medically challenged kid, and we spend a great deal of time praying for him, and his mom and dad, as they navigate ER and multiple Dr visits, special diets and other challenges. It was a joy to meet this bundle of mischief and fun.  We hope he continues to thrive and bless those who love him so much!!

On our last full day there, we made the drive to Yakima, and visited with my mom, sister Anita, and brother-in-law Mark.  It was good to see all of them.  Annie and Josh headed back to Walla Walla from there and we drove back to Portland through snow and crazy weather in order to fly out the next morning, early.  It was a wonderful trip, all in all! 

Happy over silly things, then, very, very sad, and seeing God in all of it.

Backstory - My decent in to the need to use reading glasses happened quickly and soundly about 6 years ago.  I had typically had several pair around and would take them off and leave them laying here and there, as most people seem to do.  But eventually I found a pair that I really liked.  They had a cool swirly paint effect on the bows, and they provided enough correction that I could read menu's etc, but not so much that I couldn't see to function in life, so I got where I just wore them, like glasses, pretty much all the time.  I got compliments on them all the time, too.  I tried to get a second pair, but they didn't seem to be available any longer.  (I had bought them about a year, maybe two, before - an even that had been kind of on a whim, because I already had 5 or 6 pair, and I somehow got to the store without a pair, and needed to read something, so I bought a cheap pair, and I ended up liking them the best of all the pairs I had)  I even contacted Foster Grant, to see if I could get some 'left overs' somehow.  Eventually, being just cheap drug-store readers, they broke, about a year ago (by the time they broke, I had originally purchased them about three or four years before).  At that point I decided I probably needed to replace them with the real glasses that an eye doctor had told me I probably needed, so I did.  I would still use readers when on the computer, and when lying in bed to read, and had a favorite pair, with very flexible bows, that are more comfortable, for reading when laying on one's side. 

Two weeks ago, when we packed for our spring break trip to Gatlinburg, I lost them.  I thought I had packed them, got there, couldn't find them in my things, figured they were here at the house, laying on the table by the door or something, and then, also couldn't find them when we got back home, either.  So, I dropped by Walmart, where I had purchased them, and they appeared to no longer be carrying them.  *sigh*  So a few days later. We stopped at Fred's to fill a scrip for Em.  Though we typically just use the drive up, I said "Let's go in, since I have to find a new pair of glasses with flexible bows."  So we went in, and Lon went to fill the scrip, while I looked at the reading glasses display.  I found a pair that 'might work' but was looking further to see if anything better would surface, and low and behold there was ONE pair, exactly like that original favorite pair of readers, AND they were in my correction level.  How in the WORLD did they get there!?!?  No idea - probably someone returned them long after they had bought them, or something...  I had searched every store, including this particular one, and that style of glasses was not available ANYWHERE (thus the e-mails with Foster Grant mentioned above!).  So, we bought them, and the flexible pair that I found there.  I suppose I don't really need them, at this point, since I have my 'regular' glasses, and the flexible pair, but it just felt like God was blessing me with a little 'hey, here is something that I just know will make you happy' moment.  I was very happy.  And I knew, with the progression of events, that lead to us stopping there, then, that God had had a hand in me finding them.  I was supposed to have stopped TWO other times, in the day, to pick up Em's scrip, and had forgotten BOTH of them, so we had driven down early for prayer meeting, which is at 7, in order to catch the pharmacy before they closed at 6:30.  That was the only reason we went in, and didn't just use the drive up - we had time to kill, waiting for prayer meeting, so it seemed like a good time to check for readers there. 

I was just happy.  God cares about little things that will make His children happy. We went on a walk, with some of our time to kill, and while we were walking saw several cats, almost always a pair, one yellow, one black.  We have a yellow cat, that we 'inherited with the house' that used to have a very close friend who was a black cat (Polo, the black cat, disappeared, while we were gone to the wedding last fall) Poor Marco wants so badly to be close friends with one of our other cats, but none of them will 'adopt' him as a 'bestie'.  Several of the cats we saw on the walk seemed to be close, like Marco and Polo had been, and we talked, briefly, about what it is, that is special, about that combination, seems we know several sets of cats that are yellow and black that are especially close friends. 

So, then, on the way home from prayer meeting, we saw the saddest thing.  There was something black laying in the road, I thought it was a jacket or something, but didn't clarify what it was before I saw a yellow tabby cat, who looked very much like our Marco, and also like my precious Max , who is right now, curled up on my chest, as I type!(can you tell I have a special place in my heart for yellow tabbie's?)  This poor, sad tabby was lifting one tentative paw, to step toward the black thing in the road, and looking anxiously as if to say "Why is my special friend laying there, in the road, is he gonna be ok?"  Honestly, I have no idea if the black thing in the road WAS another cat, or if the yellow cat actually WAS his friend, but in the moment, that was what appeared to be happening, and it just struck me as so VERY, VERY sad, the stance of that yellow tabby and the look on his face embodied the sadness of loss SO clearly.  (no, we didn't stop.  Terrible, I know.  I'm not sure why, exactly, Lon was driving. I could have asked him to stop, and didn't.  I guess I was caught up in the sadness of the look on the cat's face, and the message God immediately dropped into my mind about it. But when we were back by there, the next day, the black thing was no longer there, and there was no 'mark' in the road, either, so I'm hoping he was just injured, and got up and ran away, or that it wasn't actually even a cat laying there, and maybe the yellow cat was actually just curious what was laying in the road - though he did SEEM sad... )  Anyway, the look on that yellow tabby cat's face got me thinking.

Being one who is working, still, on getting emotions to awaken inside of me, after my long depression, it was a lot to handle in a few short hours, to be SO happy, and then SO sad.  And then God immediately pointed out to me, that not only does He care about small things, that make His children happy, like replacements for long-lost much-loved readers that are no longer really even needed, but just make us happy, He also has a deep LOVE for ALL of humanity, that has Him looking on, with such deep sadness as we struggle in the mess we call life.  Every time my mind goes back to that picture of the yellow cat's very embodiment of sadness, at the loss of his friend, I get a little TINY piece of a picture of the level of deep concern that God has, at the thought of losing even one of us.  He loves us SO much!!!

The nice thing is, that we also know, that we are only still here struggling, because He has a PLAN, and it involves getting us OUT of this mess.  The deal is already done, which we will celebrate, next weekend.  But He is waiting, to be sure that ALL beings on ALL planets in ALL corners of the universe can clearly see the source of the evil and understand the need to eliminate it, before He does just that, once and for all, and takes us home, to a place were there will be no sad kitties, and...  no need for reading glasses!! 

"Holiday Letter" 2015.

Well, it's the Christmas season again, and in lieu of writing a long letter and printing it, stuffing envelopes, etc.  I decided to direct you all here.  I'm going to start with a 'simple' synopsis, and inside of that synopsis will be links (words that are a different color) that you can click on, and get more information (or photos), if you want it. (blue means more details, purple means pictures)   Enjoy!!

(most links are now active - if there is something you particularly wanted that was not, leave me a note, and I'll get on it ASAP) 

I believe that the last NEWSY note that I sent was at least four years ago (there was an attempt at a cute poetry version, that a limited number of close friends and family got, two years ago, but we shall all just agree that that never actually happened!) I had the best of intentions to send out a newsy note, after the move, and/or last year for the holidays, but the move was a bit exhausting, and you'll see that the time when the holiday letter would have been written last year was not 'the best' time for me to be writing a 'cheery newsy note' (we also had 'pending news' from Annie and Josh, and thought maybe a letter the first of the year would be better, and of course, never got around to it...)

So, (enough with the excuses and explanations) here goes:

The last few years in Huntsville were filled with mostly trying to have a "quiet, 'normal' life", after the craziness of the tornado.  My broken leg healed very quickly, due to excellent physical therapy.  The kids were busy with Pathfinders and Adventurer activities, all six were homeschooling, and I was teaching several outside students as well, at various points, and I also taught a weekly art class for a group of students that came to the house. Lon was working in Nashville which had him gone 2-3 nights a week, and working from home the remaining days.  We were renting, still, so not much 'house project' work went on, though we did make an attempt at building a cob chicken coop.  We did get a new 'big dog' that Tommy had been longing for, for some time (he got Snoop for his birthday, in 2011), and then, later, added several cats to the family, too.  This last fall, we lost our sweet dog Maggie, and buried her in our back yard, she added love to our family for over 11 years, and we do miss her.

Summers would see Annie disappear to MiVoden for several weeks, and Sarah even joined her one summer.  We did manage one short trip to the Gulf Shores area, with just the three older girls, in the fall of 2014.  That was a nice, relaxing trip!!  We also drove over the S. Carolina, and had a visit with the three younger kids' older two birth sisters, and two of their three cousins who were all living together, there, at that point.  Also, Emma convinced Lon to take her on a canoe camping trip, which I ended up tagging along on.  That was quite fun. And thanks to a *very* generous donation, after the storm, Lon and I were able to make a 25th anniversary trip to Hawaii, in December of 2011.  There were also a myriad of Pathfinder trips, including another Oshkosh trip.  And of course several trips to our beloved Northwest, which are mostly mentioned below.

In November of 2013 Lon and I drove up to Tennessee for our anniversary, to a little town we were eyeing as a potential 'place to settle in the country'.  We fell in love with this little town.  It is quaint, and sweet, and just the right distance from Lon's work (a 55 minute drive), that it would be practical for him to live at home full time, again.  Part of that trip involved a visit with the local SDA school teacher.  We were excited to hear that she would be willing to take Ricky!  We had ended up enrolling him in public school for most of the final year in Huntsville, as his special needs were sucking up an inordinate amount of my energy, and the other kids were getting short-changed.  Public school really did NOT work well at all.  He tested as being eligible for their 'autism track' which was *supposed* to have meant that he would be in a special classroom most of the day and mainstreamed for just a few periods.  But in reality, the opposite happened.  I had been working on 4th grade material with him, and they basically dropped him into 7th grade and simply 'made accommodations' for him by eliminating two choices on all the multiple choice questions.  He was getting C's just by guessing (50% chance of getting it right!) and learning NOTHING.  The teacher there (in Woodbury) was willing to have him be working at his grade level, and there are all grades together in one class, so kids his age, to interact with.  While he is not particularly chummy with any of the boys, there, that are his age, we still feel that it is the best fit for him, for now.  In the end we decided that it would be best if Tommy and Mayahna were also enrolled, as I was finding that really, all three of them were causing me to 'short change' the other three, on their homeschool experience, often leaving them to 'teach themselves' - which they were doing reasonably well, but I felt that I needed to focus my attention on them for a bit, before they all headed off in different directions!! (which ended up happening much faster than we expected!!)

We did end up buying a house in the Woodbury area, and moving up, in March (2014).  In late April, Lon was specifically invited to come to Alumni weekend at Walla Walla University, and take part in a college bowl retrospective event.  So we decided to go, and to take the two birthday girls (Emma and Annie) who would basically miss their birthday celebrations, since we would be gone the week that both of their birthdays were.  We ended up making a couple of detours  out to the Oregon Coast, and over Mt Hood on that trip. Annie ended up deciding to just stay at her grandparent's place, since she would be coming right back a few weeks later, for another summer at MiVoden.  What this meant was that Annie really only 'lived at home' in this house for a few weeks, because she ended up taking an 'internship' (used to be called Taskforce) at MiVoden, and staying for the winter, too (sound familiar? - Lon and I worked that position, the first year we were married, even worked for the same awesome people!)

Sarah had taken a 'nanny job' for a family in Huntsville just before the move and was driving home just on the weekends.  In early June, she was done with that, but on the same day that she was gathering her things down there so she could 'move home', Annie called from MiVoden, begging her to come for one more summer - several staff that had been hired, were unable to come at the last minute, and they were scrambling to fill some positions.  That was a Tuesday, and Sarah was on a plane Friday!!

The following school year was a pretty 'typical year' - the three younger kids were settling in to the whole school routine, and Emma was at home, Sarah was doing a *little* bit of school work, but in November got a job, at TJ Maxx, and then in December a second job, at Panda Express.  After the holidays she quit the job at TJ Maxx and just worked at Panda.  She had sort of freaked herself out, regarding the SAT and thought she would not be going to college.  As a mom, I knew she would be fine, *and* that she would have to figure that out on her own.  So I sort of consider her 'stint in fast food' as part of her education process.  It helped her realize that she simply HAD to do at least OK on the SAT and get herself to college, so that she didn't have to work in fast food all of her life.  By about March or April of this year we had reached that magic point, and you can read more about Sarah's plans here.

Meanwhile, Annie had been introduced to a fine young man, Joshua Brooks, via a text-messaging prank that her friend, Jennifer, played on her.  They started out texting each other, soon switched to skype conversations (he lived in Walla Walla), and then met in person on one of the camp bus-runs to Walla Walla, that Annie was along on, as a staff member.  Soon Josh was making frequent trips up to MiVoden, to see her on the weekends...  you can read more about Annie and Josh's courtship here.

Meanwhile, back in Woodbury, Lon was working on getting his old Volvo running again, so that it could be driven out to Annie, to have for the winter.  It was a LONG, and ARDUOUS process, involving several fellows from work who enjoy tinkering on cars in the evenings (not entirely sure 'enjoy' was an adverb they would use for THIS particular project, but...) and a 'new' engine, 'new' seats, and several other 'upgrades'. We planned a trip for 'late September' which got moved to 'mid October' and eventually we set out on the 26th.  You can read the 'saga' of the final days of the volvo here.

While we were out in the NW, delivering the car to Annie, my father, who has been failing with Parkinsons, complicated by Diabetes, fell.  He has been moved to an assisted living facility just a few weeks before, and my sister Anita and her husband Mark were over visiting him for Sunday Breakfast, and he got up to 'see them off' and somehow tripped either on his feet, or on the chair, and fell and broke his hip rather badly.  We were still at MiVoden, delivering the car to Annie (sort of - see 'saga' link, above) and meeting Josh, and his parents, when we got the phone call.  We had already planned to go, the next day, and spend our last few days of our visit to the NW, in Yakima, with Mom and Dad.  We were able to get there early enough on Monday to say a few words to Dad before they wheeled him in for surgery.  He seemed happy to see us, and even spoke to Lon by name.  The surgery went well, but the dementia from the Parkinsons and the anesthesia is not a good mix. He was very uncomfortable and agitated in the few days we were able to stay.  I was able to help Mom 'shop' for a rehab facility for him, and decided that, rather than staying on, at that point, that I would go home, settle some things there that I had left unfinished, and come back for two weeks the end of November, to cheer him on through his rehab.  So Emma and I returned to Woodbury and Lon stayed, to get the rest of the car situation sorted out. (the volvo had not actually made it all the way to MiVoden at this point - see 'saga' link above.)

When I got home I went down with the flu for a week (so was glad I had not stayed there, to 'be with Dad').  Dad was transferred to the re-hab facility on Thursday or Friday of that week, and seemed to be settling in well.  He would start the work of regaining as much function as possible the next week.  On the 12th of November I got a (second) phone call from Mom, which I answered in an eerily familiar, cheerful way, surprised to have heard from her twice in one day.  (she had answered the phone in a similar manner the day that I called her, a second or third time that day, to tell her that we had been hit by the tornado.) Just as I had had to drop bad news on her happy greeting, she had to let me know that Dad was already gone.  He had apparently had a severe stroke, early in the morning, they had called her, to come quickly, but he was gone before she could even get there.  Talking about it with her several weeks later, we were both glad that he did not suffer for long.  And that in the end, he went peacefully.  He is resting now, and that is better than the suffering he was experiencing!!  My opinions about 'end of life wishes' have certainly been changed by the process of watching his decline.

He had indicated that he really did not want us to have a service for him.  He was never one who liked having a fuss made over him.  He said we should just 'sprinkle his ashes on a river'.  Mom was not sure where to do that, and when I suggested the favorite family camping spot, on the North Fork of the John Day river she was excited about the idea.  Unfortunately it was inaccessible that time of year, so plans were made to make a trip up there in the spring at some point, once the snow melted.

Two weeks later, on December 1st. I got another 'unsettling' phone call, this time from Annie.  Her first words were "I'm ok, but..."  Yeah, us moms know that this conversation is not going anywhere good!!  She had rolled the Volvo.  And walked away!  She was sitting in a trucker's cab, waiting for the first responders to come, an ambulance took her to an ER in Ritzville, where they found that she seemed to have a partially collapsed lung, along with a few scratches on her face and neck.  They held her for 6 hours of observation and then released her with instructions to see a doctor in two to three weeks and make sure things had cleared up. Lon's folks were able to drive up and pick her up, and take her back to Walla Walla to recuperate for a few days.  Needless to say, this event was a turning point in her relationship with Josh.  Things got very serious much more quickly after this point.  They had already realized that they were likely headed into a 'long term' relationship, but the accident sort of made them realize that waiting was really not needed, they knew, now, what they wanted.  So, while they had been discussing the possibility of a wedding in the spring of 2016, after the accident, that date got moved up to 'maybe as early as fall of 2015'.  In January Josh had a lengthy skype conversation with us, asking our permission to marry Annie, and plans were made for a proposal.  We knew the date and the plans, and Annie worked HARD to get them out of us, but we were actually able to throw her off the trail a bit, with some comments about him not wanting to do it in TOO obvious of a way.  So she was completely surprised when he arranged to have a special dessert delivered at The Olive Garden, when they stopped there, on the way to Walla Walla in February.  He was picking her up to help move her there, in order to take a job that was available at that point, and MiVoden had reluctantly let her go a few months before her contract was over, so that she could take that job.  Plans were made for a September 6th ceremony, originally slated to be held at MiVoden, but that changed...  more details about the wedding planning are here.

Meanwhile, back in Woodbury, things were...  shall we say 'rough' between Lon and I.  Most people who know us know that our relationship has not been terribly smooth over the years. And parenting kids with special needs added a great deal of stress to the situation (look up the statistics, some time, on how many marriages fail, when there is a trauma-affected child in the home.  We have TWO).  In early March we reached a point where a short separation was needed in order to clear our heads a bit and figure out where to go from there.  In the process of that happening I sent out a prayer request to several close friends and one of them responded privately with a potentially very helpful resource that had recently brought her marriage 'back from the brink'.  It was a week of intense counseling at a place called Northwest Biblical Counseling Center.  Plans were made for a visit there, in mid May.

So May ended up being a VERY busy month, with Annie coming home for a week, in the early part of the month, to gather her things, and get them ready to 'ship' to Walla Walla (we ended up getting most of them to her with the 'extra' luggage that we had when we all flew out for the wedding, including a MATTRESS!!), then Sarah and I flew back out with her and did dress shopping, etc, for a week, in Spokane and Walla Walla. After that week, Sarah flew home and Lon flew out, and met up with me, for our week in Seattle.  There had been several books that were recommended for us to read and other things to 'help us do some processing' before we arrived there, and things seemed better already, even before we got there.  (turns out there was another reason for that improvement, too!) The week in Seattle at NWBCC was a turning point for us, though, with me finding healing for some past deep hurts and Lon gaining tools for how to contribute further, to the healing of our relationship.

Summer was sucked up with kids going to camp, Emma working at the local vet (she had volunteered there for several months, and as soon as she turned 16, the vet hired her!) and me continuing to volunteer time at a local domestic violence shelter, SAVE, where I was hoping to get hired, once some grants were secured.  Emma had been considering going to Highland Academy for her Junior year, and as the time to leave approached, and as my 'employment status' did not change as we had hoped it would at SAVE, (allowing us to afford academy tuition) she decided that possibly a year at the little local school would be a good idea first, anyway.  Finances were not the only reason, as she was also nervous about going off to boarding academy, not really knowing anyone, and also about being ready for her Junior year, since she was sort of half Freshman, half Sophomore.  So we all agreed that a year here, getting her credit situation under control, so that she was ready to be a Junior NEXT year would be a very good idea, and it would help her get used to 'real' school, and it would mean that there would be four of them, moving from 10th grade here, to the Academy, all together (it also helped 'just a little' that there was a certain someone, here, going to our school, who would be in her grade, and thus graduate with her, too!).  So, in early August, all four of the younger kids started school, and about a week later, Sarah and I headed out to Walla Walla for three weeks of final wedding preparations with Annie.  The rest of the family followed a few days before the wedding.

The wedding (sorry, I promise this link will be live soon) went off BEAUTIFULLY and was a blessed day all the way around.  Thank you SO MUCH to so many of you who made the journey to join us for this special day, your very presence was a blessing to all of us!  Annie and Josh make a lovely couple and seem to bring out the best in each other.  We are very happy for them, and will continue to 'support' them (emotionally) as they adjust to their lives together.  They are very young, but they come into it with two sets of parents standing at their sides, ready to help them navigate the challenges they face, and become a strong couple for the Lord.  They are devoted to being a part of their local church and they seem to be off to a very good start so far!  Joshua graduated last December with an associate in Criminal Justice and was hired by the Washington State Penitentiary in early spring.  He has been really enjoying his guard work there, and gaining needed experience so that he can, at some point in the future, possibly move to a police force somewhere. 

The day after the wedding, Anita, Mark, Mom, Lon and I, Emma, Mayahna, and several of my cousins on Dad's side, drove up to the North Fork of the John Day, to sprinkle Dad's ashes.  It was a lovely, quiet 'service' just as Dad would have wanted.  It is comforting to  know that he rests there, in one of his favorite spots, waiting for Christ's soon return.  I also took a few ashes, and left them at my Mother's grave when we were in the Portland area on Tuesday, along with the rose I had carried at Annie's wedding.  

Since returning from the wedding this fall, we have mostly been settling in to 'normal' life, here in Woodbury.  The situation at SAVE has gotten more and more bleak, as grant after grant did not come in, so I began looking for other employment.  I am subbing at the local school district and I am looking toward taking a full time position, should one open up.  There have been a few, already, since school started, but two were filled before I could get appropriate certification in place, and I'm not sure I would have wanted the third one, as it is at one of the 'rougher' schools in the district.  I was able to renew my Washington certification, and am in the process of transferring it to Tennessee, right now.  I will need to take three 'praxis' tests over the next several years, but will be 'eligible to teach' immediately upon receipt of my initial certification, which should arrive some time in the next 6-8 weeks.  I'm planning, at this point to test for Special Ed, Art, and I am considering, possibly Math (there is a HIGH need for math instructors in the entire state, and some districts are paying $35K signing bonuses!!).  It would take a fair bit of studying, but I honestly believe I *could* do it, if I set my mind to it.   We'll see.  In the mean time, I'm subbing 3-4 days a week, and finding that I actually enjoy the High School the most!  This is a surprise for me, since I was always afraid of High Schoolers when I was studying Education, back in College.  I did two days in kindergarten, just before Thanksgiving and it just about wore me out!!!

I'm also learning to use Adobe Illustrator, so that I can do some free-lance graphic design.  I guess between Dad dying, me turning 50 this year, us putting all the kids in school, and Annie and Sarah both 'moving on' I have sort of had to 're-assess things' a bit.  It'll be interesting to see how this all plays out.  I would appreciate your prayers as we move forward from here.

Lon is still working at Schneider Electric in LaVergn, about an hour from here.  He works from home about two days a week, and still very much enjoys his work.  He is still contracted to them, not an employee.  But that is working well because they really like him (alot) and there are some aspects of some of the projects he has worked on where he is the main person who knows the ins-and-outs of what needs to be done.  

Just a few weeks ago, Lon and I THOROUGHLY enjoyed a quick trip to Gatlinburg for our anniversary.  I had been over for an (amazing!) 'trauma mama's retreat' in late September (HUGE thanks go out to those who helped contribute to the 'gofundme' that my good friend Donna set up for me), and discovered that there is an 'arts and crafts' loop there, with literally hundreds of galleries and art shops, in an 8 mile loop.   We drove over on Sabbath morning, and enjoyed Great Smoky Mountain National Park, on Sabbath, and then drove the Arts and Crafts loop on Sunday.  It was a LOVELY time.  It's so nice to be enjoying our marriage again.  Whoever recommended that I read that book, thank you!!! (if you follow no other link, follow this one, it tells more of the details of the miracle that is happening in our home - Lon wants people to know, so that, maybe we can save someone the years of pain we went through, before we discovered this solution - click on 'book' above.)

As I write this, Sarah is waiting to hear whether she will have a position at Panda, in Madison, or whether she will be moving down there with no job, and just keep trying to get on at Publix (the job she really wants).  She has a place to stay, at a friends' parents house, and all three of her best girl friends will be home for the Christmas holidays, so she'll be enjoying that over the next few weeks.  We went and chose our Christmas trees, yesterday, which will be dug over the weekend or early next week, and we'll pick it up next week, and then Christmas will start in full swing - I'll post pictures here when I get things done.  We are still on the path of working toward simplifying Christmas and making it more about family time, and memories, and less about stuff.  For the most part, it's working.  Annie and Josh can not come this year, since he just started at the Pen in the spring, and he used all of his time off for the honeymoon, but plans are already in place for them to come for a couple of weeks, next year, between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  We'll skype with them, this year, as we did last year.

We are hoping that you will leave us a little note, or send us your Christmas card, as we DO enjoy staying in touch with so many family and friends from so many places we have lived, that God has richly blessed our lives with.  And hopefully soon we will have a few little guest cabins put up, so that you can come visit us in our beautiful Tennessee country life.

This is the view, often, in the morning, from our front porch. 

(also, if you have time, and you have not already read the previous post, which I wrote on the day after my birthday, I would highly recommend it.  I just re-read it, and am thinking that perhaps I just need to do that now and then, to remember to ground myself in God's love for me!!)



 

Just some thoughts regarding my birthday, and clarity regarding 'issues' in the news last week.

I hope this doesn't ramble too much, my apologies right from the start, if it does.  I guess turning 50 is good reason to do some thinking and introspection.  I've been thinking about life so far, and what vision I have for my future.  I've been thinking about my relationship with God.  About healing that has been provided at various points in my life, not the least of which was the trip in May, to Renton, and, of course, the aftermath of the tornado (those stories begin here if you are interested). About healing that I need to help facilitate in others, particularly the injured children that have been entrusted to our care.  And how best to facilitate healing in others.  Some pretty deep thoughts.

I'm not sure where to start.  Maybe in the reading I did last week, in the book of John.  The story of the woman, caught in the trap that was set for her, of adultery.  I got interrupted in my reading in an interesting place and it brought a new insight into the reading.  I've read it hundreds of times.  I even played the role of this woman, every Sabbath afternoon, for an entire summer!  But I never saw this...  here, read it with the text stopped where I got interrupted:

John 8:4-6
“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down....

 Freeze frame while Jesus is in the act of stooping.  What is Mary thinking?  What would YOU be thinking? I know my thought would be "Here comes the first rock, and I obviously deserve it!"  I really think this is where MUCH of Christianity is frozen.  We seem to live our lives in constant fear of God's judgement of us and seem to think that instilling that fear in others will motivate them to love God.  (REALLY?!?) Even if we put all interaction with others aside, and only focus on our own 'stuff', we tend to focus on the sin, and the bad thing we did, and expect God to be the first to stoop and pick up a rock, unleashing the onslaught of judgement, not only from him, but from all the 'good people' around us, who will get on board and start throwing their stones, too, and bring on painful (almost welcomed) death.

Ok - frame still frozen - what if you were one of the people in the crowd, or one of the men bringing her to Jesus.  Jesus is stooping, what are you thinking?  Here is what I think I would have been thinking (not proud of it, but willing to admit it): "See! Here he goes, he's gonna pick up a stone, and get this thing started... she deserves it, she CLEARLY sinned!"  The law will be carried out and she will get what she deserves.

Ok - unfreeze...

verses 6-8
...and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again...

another freeze frame.  Stop and think about it.  Jesus himself was the only person in that entire crowd (in the entire history of the world) who actually had a right to pick up the first stone, and throw it, because he is the only one who had never sinned.  But...  (unfeeze)

verses 8-11
...and wrote in the dust.
 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
 “No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.

As Christians we seem to want to get a bit hung up on that last thing he said, but we need to remember that HE is really the only person who has ever lived on this earth, who stayed perfectly connected to the power that one needs to accomplish that 'sin no more' thing, and thereby be in any kind of a position to throw a stone.  It is only through being connected to HIM that any of us have any hope of living in anything even remotely resembling that 'sin no more' reality.  And we need to stay far far away from that place where we keep pointing out the sins of others and demanding an answer from God about it, because chances are, if we push him far enough, He's gonna start writing about our sins, in the dust.

I know for myself, I live in a constant struggle with the devil, to sin. It's a daily/hourly/minute-by-minute thing. If it's not my temper, it's despair, or appetite control, or time management, or judging others, even sarcasm... any list of things.  I do not personally struggle with homosexual desire.  But many do.  But my focus clearly needs to be my OWN sins. 

Sometimes as a parent, the things we say to our kids kinda come back around and hit us between the eyeballs.  When the kids come to me, all worried about some wrong that the other one has committed, I often catch myself telling them, "Managing your own business is a FULL TIME JOB, and honestly, you are not succeeding at it well enough yet, to be signing up for the job of managing your brother, or anyone else. So focus on your own stuff, please."  I think this is the lesson Jesus was teaching to every member of the crowd there, that day, and I think it is a lesson that Christians, as a whole, today have missed in a pretty big way. 

In light of all the craziness about the LGBT agenda, etc recently.  I think this story carries a VERY important message to Christians.  We are in NO position to be casting ANY stones.  Until we are 'managing our own issues' we have no business signing up for the job of managing anyone else's.  And I don't know about you, but I pretty much know I'm never going to be in that position, because it has become very clear to me that the only way I'm EVER gonna 'manage my own stuff' is through the power of CHRIST.  It's never going to be me, it's ALWAYS going to be HIM.

So, take another step outside of the story and think about the response that Mary had to Jesus after this event.  She became his LOYAL follower, loving him, and serving him in any way that she could.  We often find her sitting at Jesus feet.  Like Mary did before us, when we come to a clear realization of where we stand, without Christ, (accused), what God COULD be offering us, based on what we deserve (Him stooping to pick up the first stone) and what we get instead (Love and acceptance and HELP in overcoming the sin in our lives)  how can we NOT fall at His feet in adoration?? 

So, if I step back into the story, and am honest with myself enough to realize that I might be one of the crowd, who will be quietly slipping away, without picking up a stone.  Or maybe I can see myself in Mary's shoes, and realize that I have stuff I need to work on TOO, and the ONLY way I'm gonna accomplish any sort of 'overcoming' and 'sinning no more' is through Christ.  And then stop and think about the AMAZING gift that He gives us, when he says to us "Neither do I condemn you," and he then provides a way for us to connect to the power that we have access to, through His death.  The realization of this one fact should bring such JOY to my life, in having found the source of power over sin (and death), in my own life,  that I would just want to share that joy.  AND - I would realize that the ONLY help I can offer to others who might be sinning in a certain, 'particular way' would be to share my testimony of JOY with relation to what Christ has accomplished in ME (note that this involves admitting to being a person in NEED of God's help!)  And then, step back and let GOD'S power do the 'work' that needs to be done in their life.  I can't do that work for them, only Christ can.  I don't WANT to, I have plenty of my own stuff to keep me plenty busy!  But what a joy it brings when I realize that God is faithful to complete the good work that He has begun in me! (Phil 1:6)

So, that is one thought, then another thought is the whole internalization of that love. I have had a head knowledge of God's love for my entire life.  I have had moments of realization, and internalization of the power of that fact at various points in my life. Since May, in a very big way, it has become MUCH more 'real' to me. 

I spent the first 32 years of my life, not really planning on getting much older than my mother got. I realized this when I was in psychology classes in college and did some reading about children who lost older siblings, and how they often have a hard time imagining themselves getting older than the age at which the older sibling died.  I realized it applied to me, with relation to my mother.  I did some processing and working on that, and eventually got 'past' it, and to a point of really just wanted to 'live like her' as much as I could.  One of the girls once asked what she was like, and I kind of realized that my answer to that was pretty nebulous in my mind, and perhaps other people who knew her better could answer it better, so I took her with me to see my gramma the next time I went to visit her.  She asked my grandmother, "What was my Gramma Luanne like?"  First, Gramma had to fight back tears, (as it seems nearly anyone who knew my mother has to do, when they think of her, even all these years later!) eventually she was able to say "She loved her Lord".  That has really stuck with me.  Would people say that about me?  Or would it be more like "She knew her facts about God's word"?  Or, "she did what she could, to serve God."  Which is noble, but without the loving relationship, my understanding is that I stand in danger of God saying "depart from me, I do not know you."  The struggle has been, for me, how to get that 'head knowledge' to transfer to a 'heart change'.  And thinking about the powerful thing that must have happened in Mary's mind, when she realized that Jesus was NOT stooping to get a stone, he was simply clearing the crowd, so that he could offer her hope.  When I meditate on that, my heart gets all up there in it, real easy!! 

Turning 50 has kind of made me assess those 'what is my life standing for' things, and given me the opportunity to assess things, and, being 50,  I am in position to decide that this is a good point to make changes for the rest of my life.  I have even started thinking that 50 more years sounds good.  That is not something I would have said at ALL in my years of depression.  But now I'm kind of thinking it sounds pretty good.  I feel like I got the hard stuff all worked through (for the most part) finally, and I'm ready for the 'joy' and 'peace' and 'contentment' part, and the 'happily ever after' part.  And that involves the focused internalization of the first part of this post.  God is the ONLY being who is in a position to judge me, and when Jesus stoops, and I might THINK he is bending to get a stone, He is not.  He is spelling out the fact that "ALL have sinned" and then he stands, gives me a hug and says "Lets tackle this together" - LOVE comes as a natural response to the knowledge that HE does not condemn me, but rather offers a solution to the sin problem in my life!!!

So, here's to June 30, 2015 - the first day of the rest of my life, where I live in His joy, His peace, His contentment, and His LOVE.

As for helping the children in our home, understand about love, that might need to come in a different post, as this one has already gotten very long, or even possibly in that book I keep threatening to write.  But suffice it to say that when children are not nurtured in those oh-so-important, early formative years, it is a constant uphill battle, to convince them that someone - anyone - loves them.   Their brains actually develop physically differently than children who are raised in a nurturing environment.  There are studies showing now, that their brains are actually 'hard-wired' to approach life from a point of constant FEAR.  I think this applies to my own life, and my past relationship with God, and I know that the only source of healing for me has been God - and that the only source for the kids is one-and-the-same.  The 'how' is the challenging part.  How to help them to internalize it.  I would covet your prayers on that one.  If nothing else, having these kids around has certainly put me in the position of realizing just how much need I have of God, because I know that I simply can not do this on my own!  What a relief to know, that I don't have to!!!

Our Experience In Renton

I have been meaning to get on here for some time now, and write about the time that we recently spent in Renton, Washington.  It's kind of hard to process everything that has been happening for so long now.  Many of you know that I suffered from depression for many years, with a great deal of healing coming from the way we saw God's hand in our lives so clearly, after the tornado hit us in 2011.  What a lot of people didn't know was, that I had prayed just a few weeks earlier that God would show Himself to be REAL.  I had lingering doubts about whether there really WAS a God, still flowing out of the unanswered prayers of my childhood, particularly the death of my mother, even though we prayed for her to get well.  Through providential protection and so many other miraculous things that happened during and after the tornado, and also through the kind acts of so many of you, God answered that prayer in a resoundingly clear way, and used the tornado to show Himself to be not only real, but powerful and intimately involved in our daily lives.  While I would NOT want to do it again, if I had to choose now I would not 'undo' that experience from my life, not in a million years.

So, fast forward to the recent months.  Lon's and my relationship has been 'rocky' for a very long time.  Pretty much since my depression hit after Annie was born 21 years ago, and honestly, things were not exactly 'peachy' even before that.  We have seen several (many) counselors over the years getting various levels of help from some of them along the way, and from some virtually no help, in fact some sort of even made things worse, in some ways!  The last few months, since about October have been particularly difficult, and by about February I was just completely worn out.  I had nothing left to give.  I had even asked Lon to leave for a while, at one point, so that we could sort of 'get our bearings' and figure out how to go forward from there.  I don't think nitty-gritty details really contribute much to the story, but suffice it to say that I was still lacking a clear understanding of God's infinite love for me, and therefore was still struggling with the last vestiges of my depression, and Lon has struggled for a long time, with being able to understand things from other people's points of view, and he also had a tendency to 'form strong opinions' about certain people in his life, in particular those closest to him (both pretty typical characteristics of Engineers, I hear).  The mixture of the two (my depression and his 'issues') was not like water and oil, it was rather like kerosene and fire.  It was not good. Though, I do have to say, we had progressed past the 'explosive' stage (that had lasted for several very unhappy years), into a rather frightening 'I really don't give a care any more' stage (at least I had, I can't really speak for Lon).

At this point, while I no longer doubted God's existence, I really just had a strong desire for Him to grant us some peace in our lives.  And I wanted a clear picture of His LOVE for me, because I have always had a difficult time internalizing that fact - I believe it in my head, but have a hard time 'feeling it' in my heart.  So my prayer had been something along the lines of "show me your love and grant me peace - heal my 'broken' (as in not correctly functioning) heart". I was simply very very tired of the constant hurt.

In early March a dear friend reached out with a possible solution.  She and her husband had struggled in similar ways to our struggles and had reached a 'point of no return' several months ahead of us.  A friend of theirs had put them on to the place in Renton, Washington, suggesting that if they were going to split, they should go there first, so that they would at least know that they had tried EVERYTHING first.  It literally saved their marriage, and by extension, their family.  She suggested that we look at the website and consider going for the week-long intensive marriage session that they had gone for.  She even indicated that the associated 'suggested donation' was pretty much already covered, by the giving that they had done, since their experience there.  The session involved a full week, three hours every morning with the counselor (who happens to be a former Engineer, who had a failing marriage, too, and set out to find ways to improve it, and in the process felt called to change his career to ministry and counseling), and then homework for us to do in the afternoons.  It seemed like a pretty big commitment, and having had some recent bad experiences with counselors, I was a little reticent at first, but after looking at the website, decided that this place might be our only hope.  The thing that impacted me the most was that they said that they were not in the business of 'treating symptoms' but rather, getting to the root of the issue and providing healing there, from God, and letting the symptoms take care of themselves.  Another friend, who had walked with me during an earlier crisis in our relationship, several years ago, had suggested that each of us finding healing for our deep-rooted injury, was really the only way that the pain was going to get to a 'manageable' level, so it sounded like this place would accomplish that 'goal-that-I-had-in-the-back-of-my-mind' too.  Sort of 'kill two birds with one stone.'  So we made plans to get to Renton for a week. 

Annie had a trip out here planned for early May, to go through her stuff and figure out what to keep and what to ship out to Walla Walla, and then Sarah and I were to travel out there for a few days of wedding planning. (I apologize if this is the first you are hearing of the wedding - as you can see, life has been a tad more crazy than usual, lately - more will follow on this topic before long.)  So we arranged for the visit to Renton to tag on to the end of that trip.  It worked out nicely, because I was also able to spend Mother's Day with my (step) mom, in Yakima on my way over to Renton, from Walla Walla (specially nice, since it's her first Mother's Day without Dad at her side). But I'll be honest, there were days in March and April where I was not sure we would make it to that date in May, and there were days when I was not sure whether I really wanted to go at all.  I knew there was going to be painful work to do there, and 'giving up' seemed easier, in a twisted, mixed up kind of way.  But I also knew that it was likely the only way 'out' (of the painful current existence) that didn't involve a separation of some sort, and that that path is NOT easy either, so I sort of mentally took a deep breath and trudged forward.

The weeks leading in to the intensive week were interesting to say the least.  Mayahna was in full 'attachment melt down' because first there was a week all about Emma, and turning 16, and getting her license, and starting work, and going to academy days... etc.  Then there was the week that Annie was here, and everything was all about Annie, two bridal showers, belated birthday celebrations, etc.  Then I left for a week, then Lon left, too, for a week.  She pretty much dug her heals in at school and made a HUGE problem for herself, not getting any school work done for weeks!  But, thankfully, we have an excellent teacher who 'gets it' and just let it be Mayahna's problem and rolled with it.  And in the end it worked it's self out.

Our friends who had gone before us, had warned us that the devil would pull out all stops to try to keep us from going, but to be honest, other than Mayahna's situation and the finances of Lon not working for a week, we didn't face that much.   In fact there was marked improvement in our relationship, due to some of the pre-visit reading that was assigned. Personally I attribute this lack of 'attack by the devil' to the many friends who were praying for us for several weeks before we went and while we were there.  People around us have always been a HUGE part of how God shows us His love.  It was true this time too.

One particular area where we saw this, besides feeling your prayers, was when we looked into renting a car.  We found that there were two cost prohibitive factors, #1 - the car rental places all want to charge a 'drop fee' when you pick up in one location (Spokane) and drop off in another (Renton, or Portland) - as much as $500!!  To say nothing of the daily usage fees, mileage fees, etc... #2 - our timeshare, in Seattle, charges $20/night to park your car!  So we decided to skip the rentals on this trip and 'impose' on friends/family, and use public transportation.  It was actually kind of nice, we got to see several people we might not have gotten to spend time with, and have some awesome conversations that we would have missed out on, had we had the 'convenience' of a rental car.  We also spent the night with several different friends who graciously opened their homes to us - just before, and just after our stay in Seattle.  The friends all seemed to enjoy the opportunity to help, and while it felt a bit like 'imposing' - I know that if friends were out here, and in need of a ride somewhere or a place to stay, we would jump at the opportunity to help (and we actually have, on several occasions and LOVED it), so the network of 'people who care' came through in a nice way, there, too.  And the convenience of cell phones and facebook made it SO much easier to co-ordinate. Thank you, to those who helped, you know who you are!

We arrived at the counseling center on Monday morning, a bit apprehensive, but also, not in quite such a bad place as we had been in February/March, as we had just had two busy weeks of time with Annie and of Lon caring for the home front, while I was out in the NW.  Lon discovered right away, that not only was Bob a former Engineer, he is also an avid cyclist, having ridden his bike to work that morning.  So the two of them hit it right off.  The sessions were very good.  The reading we had done, to prepare for our visit had made a measurable difference already.  Particularly the book "Bondage Breakers" by Neil Anderson, and the book "Love and Respect" by Eggerichs.  We had had that last book on our bookshelf for several years, and had just not ever taken it down to read it...  crazy.  Mostly the sessions were about getting to the heart of each of our deep hurts, and finding the healing that GOD has available there.  There was some personality testing, and some 'helpful hints' on how to relate to one another based on the results of the tests, and there was some forgiveness work, both of each other, and of others who have hurt us, and even of God.  And there was very pointed prayers banishing the devil and removing the strongholds he has managed to get in our lives and in our relationship.  It was hard work in some ways, and so EASY in others - but mostly it was just SO worth it. From what our friends had told us (well, what she had told me, really) our sessions were quite different than theirs, though there was a basic frame work that he seemed to follow, he also seemed very adept at catering to the specific needs of us as a couple - helping us know how to tackle some of our specific break-downs in communication, etc.  I think this 'difference' between how he counseled us, and how he might counsel others is because he is clearly very purposeful about putting himself in a position of being lead by The Holy Spirit and only 'going places' that The Spirit leads.  He certainly seemed to know JUST what we needed, and I can honestly only attribute that to the wisdom of the God who knows us better even than we know ourselves.

Many times in the past when we were working with various counselors, etc, we have ended up with a certain amount of 'dependance' on the counselor.  We'll find ourselves saying things like "We'll have to wait, and discuss this next time we are with John".  What we felt with Bob, was that he lead us to the throne of grace, and plugged us in to the power that is there.  Hard to believe that two multi-generational Adventist kids would need that, particularly in light of where our membership was for 10 years, while we were living in Oregon/Washington (our pastor there consistently preached God's grace, almost every single week!) but we did need it - I guess we had heard it, but not fully internalized it, nor extended it to each other.  

You would think that there would have been a sense of clouds parting, and angels singing, and sunlight shining in some new amazing way, etc.  There really wasn't.  Perhaps this is why I have not written yet.  I have been processing, because there was no 'big ah-ha moment', there was not a 'huge break-through' or a 'jump up and down' kind of sudden relief of the pain.  In fact the devil has managed to remind me of some of the pain a few times since.  But the beautiful thing is that there is peace (that passes understanding?) and there is joy, and there is grace between us, now, where there was judgement before.  We have both voiced the relief of how wonderful it feels to finally be on the same team again!! Simply put, we were reminded of the infinite grace that God extends to us, and shown that sharing that grace with each other is a helpful thing in our relationship (another 'duh-oh' moment!), and that realization has brought great peace, which also breeds a quiet kind of joy.  It is a beautiful thing.

While there may not have been any 'big moment', there has been an AMAZING reinforcement and continuation of the message that Bob laid out for us.  Friday when we were done, we went down to Portland on Amtrak and got to see so many dear friends while we were there, but the coolest thing was that the church service at our old church was like God took Bob's message and wrapped it up in a neat package and tied a bow on top, the sermon was about 'coming into the light of God's LOVE' and the songs were all perfect manifestations of what we were feeling in our relationship, both with each other and with God.   And then, we got home, and were only here for five days, and then packed up and headed to KY/TN campmeeting for ten days.  Lee Vendon was one of the speakers and his messages were more of the same!!  God is so good, He wants to be close personal friends with us, and He provides healing, and He provides GRACE, in the face of divine judgement.  THAT is the good news.  And THAT is what saved our marriage (by "coincidence" it is also what saves the WORLD!).  It was God.  He used the Northwest Biblical Counseling Center, to bring that healing to us, in a way that no one else has been able to before, perhaps because we were able to set aside concentrated time, and focus on the deep need we each had, perhaps because we were finally at a point where we were willing to recognize the fact that we NEEDED it.  I don't know, but I'm sure glad He did!!

So, what I have learned (so far) is that there are three prayers that God is pretty faithful to answer, if you are brave enough to pray them.  #1 is - "Please show me that you are real." (That is the one that takes bravery, and you better brace yourself, when you pray it!).  And #2 is - "Please show me how much you love me." (I think He REALLY enjoys answering this one, and actually waits ANXIOUSLY for us to pray it!).  And #3 is - "Please heal me." Even though these answers may not come on our schedule, or in the specific way we might expect. Though this one is typically more consistently answered when it is prayed like this: "Please heal my heart and teach me to love you back."  It is heart-healing that He focuses His energy on.  God does not seem to be terribly concerned about our physical comfort here on this old, short-term, worn-out planet - what He wants is our hearts.  And my experience tells me that He is pretty much willing to pull out all the stops to get to them.  What. an. amazing. God. we. serve!

PS - I have continued to listen to Lee Vendon's messages on his website, if you are interested, it is AllAboutJesusSeminars.com - the series he has there under the 'Media Player' tab, on the book of John is excellent!!  And there are many more, that I plan to work my way through.

And here is the link to NWBCC: NW-BCC.org - if you know anyone who is struggling in their marriage, or even as a single person, in their walk with God - I would HIGHLY recommend a visit to this place.  There is healing available there, through the power of God's grace.