Processing

There is a great deal of processing going on out here in Alabama right now.  Last week I read a short book written by the lady who put up all the pictures on Facebook that were found here and there all around the south, after the storms.  (see link provided on my post on May 18) I was struck by just how FORTUNATE we were that we were spared such devastating lost, as many experienced.  Their houses were obliterated, even Nan and Doug, I remember going over to see them at one point as we were working to recover what we could from our house.  Nan had collected a small pile of shards that she and other's had found from various kitchen items.  She was planning to make a mosaic out of them.  The fact that MOST of our stuff was saved has taken on a much more meaningful... 'heavyness'? is that the right word?  Perhaps gravity?  Then...

Thursday evening of last week my hard drive crashed. 

It took me a while to figure it out, but this is potentially a worse loss for me than the storm. 

Lon was supposed to be doing back-ups for me and hadn't been.  I could have done it myself, but I tend to leave 'tech-y' stuff to him.  If I try to do it, I end up bugging him all through the process of doing whatever it is I'm try to do, so it's just easier to leave it to him to do.  Well, he didn't.

All of our photos from our trip to the west coast two summers ago were on there, all of our storm photos, all of my homeschool records, including hugely complicated spread-sheets for lesson plans, and the gradebook, which shows what we have accomplished.  My journaling (other than this blog).  My passwords for various websites that I visit, our financial records (including another complicated spread-sheet), etc etc etc... the list goes on and on... 

Now - as of this moment in time it is not certain that it is all lost for good - we have sent the drive off to a 'data recovery specialist' - they will do their best to get what they can off and within 8-12 business days we should know what is recoverable and what is not.  They don't get paid unless they recover something - so it's a vested interest for them, to get as much as they can.  Very impressed with them so far - while I was online filling out a 'work-order' form to include in the shipping materials, I got a phone call from them, asking if there was anything they could do to help me through the process. They are aware that most people in my situation just had their lives turned up-on-end and might need a little hand-holding.  Very nice gentleman!!  The company is Gillware.  Hopefully none of you ever need their services, but if you do - they are the ones to use!!  Even if they dont' recover anything, I'm still impressed with the quality of their service. 

Anyway - back to the 'processing' -- I feel very much like I have lost as much or more than what we lost in the storm.  Often times, when people ask what we saved, the pictures are the first thing they ask about.  We saved (most of) our pictures.  Now we have potentially lost a good chunk of them. 

In talking with one good friend on Friday evening - I was conveying all of this to her and told her that that afternoon I had just sat in the car and wept.  I had to pull off the road, I couldn't drive.  I told her it was the first time I had really cried since the storm.  She pointed out that that was a rather telling statement!!  She's right.  I think this event has taken me to a place where I could do a little better processing of the stuff in April.  The fact that we came THAT close to losing EVERYTHING - oh - my - goodness!!!  Even losing life!!  It's a miracle that we didn't.  Honestly. I've been saying that all along, but a clearer understanding of it has just been forced into the very core of my being by this new 'loss'. 

Or, somehow, now, this removed (by time) from the actual event, I can stand back and 'see' it with new eyes, after reading the book, and then experiencing the loss that I experienced on Thursday afternoon.  Now I can more keenly understand the gravity of what has happened.

Another little piece that is playing in is that I went up to the old house on Sabbath with a friend who was here visiting from Washington.  I was telling her what houses were where, and which ones had people in them as the storm hit and which ones didn't, etc and it hit me (like a ton of bricks, actually - no pun intended) that the houses that had people inside of them were the ones that stood.  The ones that were completely demolished by the storm it's self (as opposed to being 'salvageable' inside, but still having to be torn down, later) were the ones that didn't have people in them. 

Now, granted, that was one little micro-cosom of our street.  There were two deaths on the next street over and four on the street just past that.  I have struggled just a bit with the fact that while I count my blessings, others have nothing to count.  I think I'm struggling with that more and more as I realize more and more just how blessed we were to be spared at the level we were spared at.  I want to take that energy and turn it into a compassion for those that lost more - or at the very least, a compassion for others that I hear about in the future that are hit by other losses.

Often, in the past, as I've come aware of others who are dealing with similar losses to the loss I was hit with at age 7 when my mother died, I have been 'scared' to get too close, I find it painful to come along side them and help them.  I hope that I have reached a place now, in my own healing, that I can get past that, and become someone who can comfort others, or at least sit, and FEEL with them.  It is a journey of emotional healingy that I'm on.  This new healing, and this new awareness, brings with it a willingness to feel those hard feelings and not try to stuff them down, but just feel them.  That is new thing for me.  It also brings a willingness to 'wrestle with God' over stuff that makes no sense.  Several books I've read recently and am reading now, have brought out that God VALUES our interactions with Him so much that even (perhaps, actually ESPECIALLY) when that interaction is me RAILING against Him for some human 'unfairness', He is just so happy that we are 'there' that it doesn't matter to Him, really, WHAT we have to say, as long as we are there, in His presence.  

The healing that has come, largely as a result of the protections and the palpable feeling of God being WITH us after the storm, has enabled me to be willing to 'feel' those emotions.  I'm still learning how, but I'm willing.  That's new.

There is a lot of "stuff" for Lon and I to work through, still, obviously.  We're working on it, and that will continue to take place over the next few days.  The fact that we have done this before, several years ago, and it sent me into a HUGE emotional tailspin that time, and now he has let it happen again is no small matter for us to work through.  But today, as I was driving, I think I hit on one of the lessons God wants me to take away from this - it's a lesson I've had to learn before, and apparently didn't learn all the way, so here I am again.  That is that HE is the only being whom I can successfully fit into that 'God-shaped' hole in my heart.  When I need protection, comfort, healing, etc, I need to turn to HIM, not to Lon.  If God chooses to use Lon to meet those needs, then so be it, but if He wants to minister to me directly or in some other way, then, so be THAT, it's GOD'S choice.  He wants the relationship channels between He and I to be clear of any obstructions, including the 'obstruction' of me leaning on Lon for things that God can provide for me Himself.

AND - in the midst of all of this, I'm 'acquiring' a MUCH keener LONGING for Heaven.  I'm tired of this old world and all the struggles involved in living here.  I imagine God is tired of watching our struggles too.  I'm ready to jump on the band-wagon of "let's get this job DONE, so that we can go HOME!"

So - that is the processing I'm doing today, thanks for hanging in there and reading this far.  Obviously, we have MUCH to be thankful for this year, as we head into the Thanksgiving season.  But also, we are still longing for your prayers to continue.  It's a process.  All of it is.  We're all in it together in one way or another, and praying for one-another is one way we can 'walk through it' together - even if we are far apart - please let me know how I can be praying for you too!!

Emergency Kits

So, 6 months later - do you have an Emergency kit in place for your family?

Consider this - Backpacks are a great way to store them.  That way if you need to go, your hands are free.  Also, if you are including flashlights, (which you SHOULD!) consider head-lamps, again with the hands-free thing.   And realize that food will not be nearly as important as you  might imagine it to be.  Our stomachs were so tied up in knots we were not eating nearly as much as we usually do.   Some basic provisions such as Cliff bars or other high-energy, light-weight food is good, also consider comfort food, if it is easily stored, but keep your amounts on a more reasonable side, don't over-pack food.  Water, on the other hand, could become scarce quickly, over packing in this area is less likely.   Consider purchasing a back-packing style water filter.  They are light weight and might allow you to help others by providing water for them too.  Clothing packed into the backpack needs to include at least two changes of underwear and should ideally be stored in plastic bags, as the most likely need of a change of clothing is that you have gotten wet, and it does you no good to have a change of clothes, if they get wet, too.

I would also recommend that you keep yourself in the habit of keeping your gas tank more on the full side than the empty side.  Gasoline was available, but there was no power to pump it, so the lines at the few stations where they had generators big enough to do this job, were rather LONG.

Also include some cash in your emergency kit.  Debit cards were not useful until the power came back on.  Checks were useful, but I happened to be at the end of a checkbook, so having a spare in the emergency kit might be a good idea too.

And don't forget your pets.  We had to provide temporary housing for several of our pets who's usual cages were destroyed in the storm.  Having a spare cage around, to house pets in, in case of 'issues' is a very good idea. A spare leash for a dog might be a good addition to the kit too.  Even if you have a leash handy for your dog, other pets might be wondering around, disoriented, and you might want to assist them, and a spare leash will come in VERY handy!!

Communication could be an issue too - and here is where I'm preaching to myself - consider getting a ham radio license (I'm one of the last hold-outs in our family on this one).  We were fortunate to have gotten in touch with each other, via cell phone, immediately after the storm, and communicate a plan to each other.  By the time we left the house (three-plus hours later, cell towers were going down, due to lack of power and having used up their energy reserves.  They did not come back up until mid afternoon the next day and were spotty at best at that point.  Having the girls licensed and able to communicate with Lon was a HUGE help.

And another area where I'm preaching to myself - know where your 'essentials' are at all times.  Keys to the car, cell phone, wallet.  If you are not a purse carrier, as I was not, you might have to spend precious time searching for things, time that could be used helping other people instead.  Our keys to our truck went missing for nearly 48 hours.  It didn't matter, because our truck was stranded in the garage, but had it not been, we would have still been stuck, as the keys were lost in the storm, they were left on a counter, and the storm blew them into a drawer that we never would have thought to look in.  Consider keeping a spare key in, or hidden somewhere on, your vehicle.  I also used to be one who would set my phone down, who knows where, and have to call it to find it.  I'm much less that way now.  It is usually in my purse or on my night stand if it is not within arm's reach of where ever I'm sitting.

While I do STRONGLY believe that we need to trust that God will carry us through 'events' that might come our way - He CERTAINLY did us! - I also believe that there are basic precautions that we ought to take to be prepared so that we are not a burden on those around us. 

Thanks for keeping up on the blog - don't be afraid to leave a comment now and then - I'de love to hear from you!!

Six Months Ago...

Thinking today, about what our lives were like six months ago today, and whether we would have done anything different had we known what was just around the corner, waiting for us.  Life was pretty typical, we had just found out a few days before, that Lon was going to be starting a new job, in Nashville.  We had been facing some dire financial issues, in that several of our creditors had not been getting paid, while Lon was unemployed and under-employed for the previous 8 months, but the new job was going to take care of that.  Emma had a birthday that day, and we made a cake to take to the bible study at Showalter's that night.  We didn't have a party per-say, the plan was, for her to have her friends over for a sleep-over the next weekend, or the one after that.  We would have done school that day, Tuesdays were one of our 'stay at home and get things done' days, other than an occasional trip to the library, we usually stayed home on Tuesdays.  I don't remember whether we went out that day or not.  I do know there were library books lost/damaged at the house, so perhaps we did.  When we went to the study that night, we prayed about the 'severe weather' that Michael Showalter was aware was coming our direction.  That was the first I had heard about it. 

We had had another storm warning in the previous few days, and the Tayolr's, the neighbor's across the street, had come for the first time, to join us in our shelter for that one.  We had invited them over for dinner, back in January, as a way of thanking them for the big favor they had done for us, caring for our animals while we were gone so much of the summer.  While they were visiting that evening, the topic of storm preparation came up.  Things like making sure the garage is cleaned out, so that the truck can be in the garage and less likely to be damaged, (HA!) and where they would go in their house to be safe, since they did not have a shelter!  We encouraged them to come get into our basement with us.  The warnings the week previous had been the first time they had done that.  So, to me, the potential storm warnings the next day meant that I needed to have the house tidy since Nan and the boys would likely be over the next day.  So I'm pretty sure that when we got home from the study that night, we spent some time tidying up the house. (HA!) 

Storm warnings were becoming run-of-the mill for us.  The first few that took place after we got here were a bit un-nerving.  Though, even then I was amazed at how calm I was.  I grew up with a tremendous fear of tornadoes.  I'm not sure where that came from, perhaps Wizard of Oz.  But I remember thinking "I could never live in tornado alley"  --  so when we got here, and the first storm warning went off, I was expecting it to really set me on edge.  It didn't, and I felt that God was giving me peace.  After we had done several and begun to realize that tornado damage is usually VERY localized and rather unlikely to hit us individually, we actually began to adopt some of the attitude of many of our neighbors, of 'oh, another storm warning, yeah, so'. The thought of the next day being filled with storm warnings meant more of an inconvenience that anything else.  It's difficult to get things done if we are constantly having to stop what we are doing and go down to the basement. 

-----

I wonder, when we think we have life planned out so carefully, and we think we know what is coming, if God just laughs at us.  We think we know, we think we plan, we think we spy out the land...  But in reality, we have NO clue.  And if we did know, we would tremble in fear!!!  We would rush around, 'preparing'.  We would lose sleep.  Something like knowing we were going to be hit by an EF5 tornado the next day would knock us for a loop almost worse than the actual tornado did!!  God, in His wisdom, does not often give us such fore-knowledge.  He allows us to take life one day at a time and He promises to walk with us through it. 

Throughout last spring, I had been praying for two things fairly earnestly.  Number one, that God would help us see a way clear from our financial issues.  We REALLY wanted to work our way out of debt, and it didn't look like, even with the new, awesome paycheck that Lon would be bringing home, we would be making much headway on the debt.  We would be able to make all of our payments - at least THAT was good - but not make any headway.  That had me a bit down, but I was making a valiant effort to leave it at God's feet and not stress about it.  I had also been praying for God to awaken my heart from the depression that I have struggled with for years.  I have had a life-long struggle regarding trust of God.  Ever since my mother died when I was 7, even though we had prayed so hard for her to live, I've not done well with times in my life where God has told me 'no'.  I am on a journey of healing, and I had been praying for God to awaken my heart from the depression I had struggled with for years, and allow me to FEEL again.  I had been pretty much staying out of 'depression' but I sensed that I was not really feeling things that I should feel, such as LOVE - for God, for Lon, for the kids, it all felt like an act.  I knew how to behave in a loving manner, and I did that reasonably well, but I didn't FEEL it.  I wanted those emotions to return to my life.  I had been praying for God to 'heal my broken heart' - broken in the sense of 'not working', not in the sense of love-stricken like all the songs portray.  I felt that my heart was not functional in the way God intended it to be, and that only HE could provide the healing that it needed. 

Had I known that He had a surprise waiting for me the next day that would make a huge impact on both of those prayers in ways that I could not have even begun to understand from that April 26th perspective, would I have done anything to avoid it? (such as? What? go somewhere else?  That still would have left all of our stuff to be hit, and then Nan and the boys wouldn't have been able to get in the house and be saved - and besides, where would we have gone?) 

We don't know what God has in mind for us, and most of the time, if we did, we would not choose to walk the road He maps out for us.  There are going to be rough spots in that road, and there are going to be things that are painful and difficult, things we would avoid, if we could.  But we would be unwise to do that (maybe that's why God DOESN'T show us more than one day at a time) because it is in those tough times that we learn to trust God, and that we grow. 

On April 26th we were living our lives, trusting God to tend to details regarding our finances and my emotional healing, and on April 27th He dropped something into our lives that made a huge impact on both of those.  If it was April 26th again, would I change anything?  Possibly attempt to warn the 6 people who lived within a mile of our house that died.  That would have been a productive use of my time.  I hope that is what I would have done.  (That and set up some cameras to film what was going on upstairs as we huddled in the basement!)

It's all about the Journey

Well, life must be rolling along, I have a post that has little to nothing to do with the storm...

I went out to Portland this last weekend and had SUCH a lovely time with girlfriends and family.  My soul felt so refreshed by visits, lunch dates, praise times, etc that I was so blessed to take part in repeatedly over the weekend.  Over and over, as I shared my story, and others shared their stories I found the recurring theme of 'Life is a Journey, and God designed it so that when we journey together with others, we all become stronger, better people through the process."  The storm has healed parts of me that were longing for healing, I have finally found a new place to be, that involves a lot less darkness in my soul (I believe - after all it HAS only been just over five months, I know this, and acknowledge the fact that I could still face some 'downswings' on the depression-recovery road).  But as a whole, my life now involves a lot more trusting of God, and KNOWING that I AM His child, and resting in the knowledge (not just a flimsy 'hope') that He WILL take care of me.  I am waking up, emotionally, from a long dark period in my life, and experiencing emotions in a new way.  I am looking back over my life, and partly through the insights gained from a book I'm reading on prayer, and partly through insights from conversations with all of these great friends God has blessed me with, I am starting to see events in my past in a new light.  There is joy in my soul!!

Today, as I drove home from a quick run to the grocery store, I saw some Queen Anne's lace growing by the road.  Often, in the past, it was a slightly painful thing to see, because it was my mother's favorite flower.  I sometimes picked one to bring home, because it reminded me of her, but not usually in a joyful, thankful, way, usually more of a poignant, missing-her sort of way.  Today, when I saw them, it made me SMILE.  To think how blessed I was to have her for my mom, to be able to say, "I have cells of her cells and my habits and thoughts originated in her." What a BLESSING!!  Even though I only had her in my life for seven short years, those years in a person's life are actually THE most important years, in forming their character, and getting them on a firm foundation for life.  I am blessed to have had her for those most important years.  It is nice to be in a place where I can think of her, or see something that reminds me of her, and have happy thoughts, and joyful feelings.  Healing is SUCH a good thing, but for it to be FINALLY coming, after all of these years, I think I count it as especially precious.  God is GOOD.  

Find someone to journey with, share your thoughts, insights, pains, downfalls... be real.  God will bless both of you through it.

And, before I go - THANK YOU to ALL of those who have walked with me, over the years.  I could start a list here, but I would certainly leave someone off - so, lame as it might seem - you know who you are!!  I thank God for you!!!  You have blessed me in ways you can not even begin to imagine!

New Growth

Stopped by the old 'place' earlier this week, to see if some bushes that were in the back yard were milk-weed or not.  I was shocked and amazed to find that several of our Crepe Myrtle trees that had been mowed down by Jeff's trailer flying through them, and were literally lopped off at about a foot tall, had re-sprouted, sent up a bunch of 'sucker' type branches that are now 8-10 feet tall and BLOOMING, as if it were spring!!  The two or three trees that are still there, from the row, tower over them, and are in a completely different stage of bloom.  Isn't it amazing, that growth that can happen, when a plant can concentrate it's energy on new growth?  Sometimes God has to mow something down, in our lives, so that we can concentrate on growing new branches that serve Him better than what we had before.   I think I might have just stumbled on a children's story for church.  (SHHHH) - don't tell Darlene!!

And the destruction continues...

I just spent a few minutes looking at pictures of the destruction left by Irene.  It's hard to believe how many lives have been hit, again, by mother nature.  Honestly, something like this is happening, somewhere in the world, almost ALL the time.  I'm just so anxious for Jesus to come and take us all away from this broken planet.  I know there are stories in Irene, similar to our story in the Alabama storms, where God protects, guides, and draws his people through the tough times that nature tosses in their laps, and closer to Him in the process.  But wouldn't it be much nicer just to live in a kingdom of peace, where destruction did not have to be a daily happening, somewhere on the planet? 

Even so Lord Jesus COME!!  And please help me to know what I can do to help that day come sooner!!!

It's been a bit...

Believe it or not, I've been busy sorting out what I'm HOPING are the last little bit of 'messes' from the storm.  The power company was trying to bill us for two weeks of power usage AFTER the storm!! (never mind that ALL of Huntsville was out of power for five of those 14 days!!!)  I told them that there were no wires attatched to our house, and they said that without the meter they had no way to know that.  I told them I had witnesses, that the neighbors' house was totally gone, so we could just pretend that ours was too, that they had no way to prove we HAD used any power, that if they wanted the meter, they should have gone and gotten it in the six weeks between the time that I told them we were no longer needing their services and when the house got knocked down... etc.  It was like talking to a wall.  Finally he said he was going to do some checking and get back to me in the morning.  After I hung up I realized that the meter was probably under the trailer that hit the side of the house!!  So I called the neighbor that was helping the homeowners do the demolition work, and asked, and he said, "Hell, no, the meter was totally smashed, there is no way they could have recovered it."  He also mentioned that they were trying to bill him too - for what they call 'service availability'"  I TOTALLY could not BELIEVE that one - I was really hoping they would try that line with me, the next day when they called back.  I was going to offer to send them a bill for the service availability that I provided for them, tutoring their children at $25 and hour, oh, say 4-6 hours a day, oh, say, 6 days a week!!! 
Never did hear back from them, but did receive a check for $8.04 (the remainder of our deposit, after they billed out for the power we DID use, before the storm) (now that I think about it, how did they know how to bill us for THAT power if the meter was gone!?!?!)  and an adjusted bill also arrived several days later, indicating what the $8.04 was for (as if I didn't know). 
It might seem like a minor problem to have to work through, but when you realize it's the umpteenth problem, and each one takes HOURS of time (I was on hold for nearly half an hour, and then spoke to the 'human brick wall' for another half an hour, plus the fact that I had had to DRIVE down there two weeks after the storm because I couldn't get through on the phone, after repeated times of waiting on hold just to be disconnected...etc etc etc...) but in the end it just starts to wear you out.
I think that is what people are facing now, just being VERY tired of the whole process.  Any of the old neighbors that I talk to, especially those who have not started re-building again, are JUST TIRED.  I can only imagine that the thought of facing a building project would be enough to completely knock them out.  I know I could not face that right now. 

We did get school started last week.  Such as it was.  Emma's guinea pig (one of the two) died on Tuesday morning, so that put a major crimp in the plans for that day.  And there were other interruptions too, all through the week.  I WAS looking forward to the routine!!  But all it really seemed to add to my day was more stuff that needed to get done and didn't.  Hopefully, as we get further into the year, it will settle into more of a routine. 

I've also been busy with being a sounding board for my brother as he works through some CRAZY stuff going on between him and my folks.  In the end he had to just ask them not to come around his place any more.  It got that bad.  It's really sad, because my dad has Parkinson's and they moved, last year, to a new home, not far from my brother, so that my dad and brother could do stuff together.  But that isn't happening. It's so sad.   And it saps a lot of my time. 

So, I guess I dont' really have anything inspiring to say today, just sort of checking in, and letting you all know that life is going on, and I guess in a strange, twisted sort of way, is 'back to normal'.  : P

BRING IT!!

So, still reading this book on prayer.  Some very deep thoughts.  I felt so close to God after the storm, and so in tune with Him.  It was so wonderful.  Obviously, due to the use of the words 'felt', and 'was' (being past tense), it has not continued in the way that I would like.  There has been a 'falling back into old habits of skimming along, and making do' - now, don't get me wrong, something has changed, there was a huge impact on my trust level.  When the devil tempts me to doubt God's power, or His care for me, I have a major touch-stone to refer back to.  "If He protected and cared for us among that mess, why can I not trust Him with this one?"  But there is the day-to-day struggle to depend on Him, to make Him the center of my life, to let Him walk beside me.  There is the in-your-face daily life of balancing a budget and getting along with those whom I live most closely with, some of whom are quite difficult to love sometimes.  There is the daily struggle to open up my own heart and allow it to feel things it has not felt in many years, due to my struggles with depression. 

Yesterday, for some odd reason, I was REALLY down about our budget.  Several weeks ago, we had taken a look at things, and it looked like we would have a tidy little sum, every month, to put toward building up a reserve, first, and then paying down our debt.  Well, recently, I was re-visiting this spreadsheet and found one rather glaring mistake, and two smaller, more mundane adjustments.  Between the three, it managed to cut that surplus by two-thirds.  It had me rather aggravated, to say the least.  Sometimes it feels so FUTILE!  Will we EVER knock out our debt?  Will be ever be able to be stable, and provide the life we want to provide for our children?  I was really upset.  I was not sure why God was not solving this problem for us, the way He had solved the problem of the storm. 

Several epiphanies came to me throughout the morning.  The first was, God did not REMOVE the storm from us, He was WITH us in it.  He may not remove our problems from our life (in fact I would go so far as to say that He typically WON'T) but He WILL be WITH us IN it!!  God will be with us in this financial 'struggle' - whether it takes two years or six years...  He'll be there with us!

Our life on this earth is simply short, and a very small part of eternity.  And, within that life, whether it takes us 2-3 years or 6-8 years to achieve our goals, does it really matter?  I had a conversation recently with a friend who is wanting someone dear to him to make a change.  I can see, quite easily, that this change will come naturally, within a year or so.  He can not see that, and wants the change NOW.  Perspective is such a helpful thing.  Having a perspective of only today, and only what I perceive to be my own needs causes me to be frustrated with things not happening NOW and the way I want them to.   This book on prayer has helped me to realize that prayer is about aligning myself with God's perspective.  Realizing the the problems I am facing today are minor and that He is with me in them.  That learning to draw on HIS power, and strength, and LOVE are SO much more important than being debt free, and if He can use these situations to help me learn those things, then why would I WANT Him to remove this problem from us?  Having His perspective, of this being a short time, no matter how you look at it, be it two years or eight, and also His perspective of it being an opportunity for me to grow closer to God, changes my attitude about what we face completely!

Also, I was reminded that God DID use the storm to remove nearly fifteen hundred dollars from our monthly expenses, and if He had not done that, we would not have even the tiny surplus that we have!!   When I was caught up in my pity party, I was wondering why God had not removed ALL of our debt.   But as I aligned myself with His perspective, I saw that He has removed enough to make things work, and give us (me) an opportunity to exercise our faith muscles and learn to listen to His guidance in our lives.  If that process takes two years, or six years, I'm up for it.  In the big picture, it's the end result that matters most!!  

Just after the storm, I was known to say that 'if this is what it took to extinguish that last little bit of doubt that I had lingering in my heart, then - BRING IT!' - I guess, through the process of reading this book on prayer, listening to comments in Sabbath School yesterday, and processing the Love that God has for me, I am at that point with the finances.  It might be work, it might take more time that I like, but if this is what it takes to get me to learn to DEPEND on GOD for guidance and security - BRING IT!

Precarious

So, I'm just starting in on a book I've been wanting to read for quite some time.  Apparently I started in on it at some point because the first page or so was familiar, but that soon ended, and then I came upon this little gem:
 
"The very word prayer comes from the Latin root precarius — a linguistic cousin to precarious." Yancey, Philip. Prayer.

I had to stop right there and write down some thoughts before I lost them.  So here goes.

If the concept of prayer has it's roots in the concept of being precarious, perhaps that very state of being precarious is a GOOD place to be.  I know that those days, just after the storm, when life was VERY precarious were days when we simply felt God near to us.  There was not alot of praying going on, but there was a distinct sense of God being there with us, in the mist of all the craziness.

I think, as fiercely independent Americans we strive so hard to be self sufficient and secure in our perceptions of life that we tend to lose that sense of percariousness that we seem to need, in order to sense our NEED for God in our lives.  Or, quite possibly even to sense GOD Himself in our lives.   It's almost as if, without the sense of our need for Him, and a healthy sense of how precarious our situation is without him, we can't sense HIM.

It makes me think of the song 'Brokeness, brokeness is what I long for..."  we have to come to that place of realizing God is all we have, in order to have a true understanding of all that He can be for us.  As long as we are holding it together, making it work, on our own, He has a hard time reaching our heart.

Ok - back to my book now...

some thoughts on trust

So, this might seem sort of random, and even kind of petty, but those of you who have dealt (are dealing) with attachment affected kids will understand.  Hang in there, and follow me to the end, it makes a pretty good point in the end, I think.

Mayahna is in Kindergarten camp this week.  Basically she goes to the school for the morning only, three days this week, to get used to the classroom, the teacher, the routine.  So that in the fall (is August 15th Fall???) she is ready to go.  So, this morning, we were up, just the two of us, getting her some breakfast and getting her ready to go.  I was trying to hurry things along, because I knew we were a little pressed for time.  So I told her to get a bowl, and the cereal, and head to the table and pour the cereal in her bowl.  I headed to the fridge to get the milk and I was planning to grab her a spoon on the way to the table.  I got the milk, and turned around to find her getting her own spoon.

Now, to those of you who do not deal with a kid who simply can NOT trust you, and has to constantly, every move of every day, second guess whether you are going to take care of them or not, that might seem like a helpful thing for her to have been doing.  But in OUR situation, I need her to learn that I'm going to HELP her, and take CARE of her, and I CAN'T if she is always helping her self and taking care of herself.  So I asked her if I had asked her to get a spoon, and she said 'No' and I told her I was planning to get it for her, and now I couldn't.  She got set down, ate, we finished getting her ready to go, and got out the door in plenty of time.

On the way to the school, I was talking with her about it.  About how I want to help her,  I want to do things for her, I want to take care of her, but it is difficult when she is always trying to take care of everything for herself.  The words "You need to learn to listen, do what you are asked, and watch and see how things turn out.  You might find that I'll take care of things for you, if you let me," came out of my mouth.  As soon as I said them I realized that this is the message that God has for me!! 

I have often said that I sometimes see myself as an attachment affected child of God.  I am now understanding that He gave me these kids so that I would have to say to them, over and over, the very things He wants to say to me.  "Trust me!" "Listen, and obey!" "Please, let me show you that I love you."  "You are going to have to be less busy taking care of yourself, so that I can do that!"

Father, please help me to rest in the knowledge that You are taking care of things, You are in control, and I am Your child, whom You cherish and want to bless!  Help me not to get in the way of those blessings you want to send to me!!  Help me learn to listen, obey, and wait, to see how You will work things out!!

Awake in the middle of the night tonight

Partly because of sweet tea that I drank yesterday, so that I could stay awake driving, and partly because I'm processing some stuff, and my mind won't shut down. 

Apparently the house got knocked down last weekend some time.  Lon stopped there on his way home on Friday to sift through the rubble in the master bedroom a bit, and see if he could find a couple of cords he is missing from his Ham Radio stuff.  Didn't find them, but, as usual, did find a few other things that we might want...  I have not been up there in a couple of weeks.  He said that all the cabinets and appliances, etc have been removed.  That shoulda been a bit of a clue.  But I didn't catch it.  He went back up on Monday to pull out his old peg board.  He was working on organizing he new workshop and discovered that the peg board here is a different size, so he went to get the old stuff early on Monday morning, and discovered that the house had been knocked down. 

It sort of ticked me off at first.  We had asked that they let us know when it was going to happen, so that we could watch.  But I hadn't thought about the idea that we might still want to go get a few more things.  Every time we went, we always came home with more stuff than what we set out to get.  Always found one or two (or twenty) more items that had not been important enough on the last trip, or we had not seen. 

This morning, laying here, I'm thinking about the projects I want to get done tomorrow and Sunday, organizing the school room and Emma's bedroom.  I started thinking about the play room, and how there was so much insulation down in there, and it made it really hard to sift through the stuff in there, and how I really was not a part of retrieving the stuff that DID get pulled out of there, and we left alot behind.  It seemed like a good thing, at the time, to simplify.  Now, I'm wondering if there are some important items that we overlooked, particularly for the large playmobile sets.  Whatever.  Why is this keeping me awake at 3:00 in the morning.  (or is it really the tea?)  I guess I still have some processing to do regarding losses that did happen.  While I'm loving the process of simplifying, and setting up a new place here, in our new home (you should see our living room!!!) I might have been a bit hasty about leaving some things behind.   

I think that the fact that the house is gone now has sort of triggered the realization that losses did happen, and need to be dealt with.  

I'm sure, that over the coming year we will continue to find things that are missing.  Last Sabbath Lon suddenly realized that one of his favorite pairs of slacks is not in the closet.  Apparently was not saved. 

I have a large box that is a box that I had not dealt with from the previous move, it's all the little 'things I should scrap-book'.  Unfortunately the bottom of the box DID get wet at some point, so I KNOW that stuff in there is going to be ruined and lost. I have been avoiding unpacking it.  I have considered just tossing the whole thing and not even going through it to see what can be saved.  It still sits, waiting for a day when I feel 'up to tackling it'.

Last weekend when I was organizing my craft stuff I discovered that the bin that I had all the old Christmas cards we have received over the years stashed in, had gotten water in it and had mildewed.  I didn't have any specific plans for them, I never got them out and looked at them...  why did it bother me so much yesterday, when I saw the bin, setting on the floor, empty, with the label still on it "old Christmas Cards"?

Perhaps I'm just processing, perhaps it's just part of what we have to go through, part of the 'grieving process'  Perhaps it's 'normal'.  That is where I am, though, and I guess, I'm not complaining, or wishing I was not here, just sharing where I am, because I know that alot of you care.   And I appreciate that. 

I'm also processing on the spiritual side.  So many times, when you go through something intense you get close to God, and then when you get past it, it's easy to fall back into old habits, and that is definitely happening.  I wish it wasn't.  But it is.  I did get some recommendations for some good books yesterday - and not even in a conversation where I was sharing my 'stuff' and someone said "Oh- you should read this book..."  It was just "Hey - I'm reading this GREAT book" and as she begins to describe it, I realize it is just what I think I need right now.  So, after I get the books all unpacked and organized (today or Sunday hopefully) I might take a look at getting those books (there is another book I want to read, that I can't remember whether I had bought it just before the storm, so I need to unpack before I buy any new books) I just need to process some more on the spiritual side of things.  I need to delve into the whole 'feelings' thing, and figure out what to do with my emotional side, now that I am (hopefully) walking away from the depression that has dogged my steps for so many years.  My emotions are still pretty deeply buried.  They come out at odd times, like laying here thinking about what toys might have gotten left behind, and other times they don't, when they should, like when people hand us AMAZING amounts of money. 

Someone told me yesterday that I need to record the financial blessings side of this whole thing, so that we don't forget.  I guess I have not been specific about some of it here.  Just alluded to it.  But the hugest part is the reduction of debt.  We were under water on both the truck and the trailer, owed a good deal more than they were worth.  Knew we needed to sell them, and get a less expensive vehicle to drive and just not have a trailer. But there were so many sentimental attachments, particularly to the trailer.  It was our summer home.  By the lake.  We couldn't part with it easily.  And besides, how do you sell something that you owe more on than it's worth?  They are both gone now, and so is the debt that went with them, and the monthly payments that had to go out.  And the insurance covered the purchase of the new vehicle we purchased out-right with cash, to replace the truck.  The truck was totaled - every body panel, every piece of glass had a dent or a scratch. They would have had to re-build or repair the whole entire body.  Emma and Tommy were both VERY sad to see it go.  They still talk about it, alot.  "I miss our truck" they'll say.  I do too.  But I'm enjoying driving something smaller, too!  And I DON'T miss the almost $800/month payments!  Not ONE bit.  Or the 20+K debt that was still hanging over our heads.  Just knocking those two out, and one of our consumer credit cards that was willing to settle, has put us in a position of being able to look forward, in a debt-stacking spread sheet, and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Within two years, we should be out of debt, and have enough money in the bank to cover ourselves if Lon has another gap between contracts. 

People have been SO generous with us, helping us out and blessing us with gifts of money and support through prayer, and one person has offered a low interest loan so we can pay off some other debts.  All are GREATLY appreciated.  It has all created a sense of God taking CARE of us.  Providing a way to replace the things that were lost, and even enough extra to do a couple of special things, like sending Emma out for camp at MiVoden, and planning a trip to Hawaii for Lon and I for our 25th.  I hope that doesn't seem extravagant.  Most people have said nice things like "What a blessing - You need that" - but I'm still concerned that people who gave to us will wonder about the way we are using the money.  It is a trip we promised to Lon's folks 25 years ago, when they had their 25th the year we got married and didn't get to do much because they were helping with the wedding.  We said "We'll take you to Hawaii for your 50th and our 25th!"  They said "We'll go before then!" and they have not - we consider it a direct blessing, and honestly, there was ONE donation that covered ALL of it, AND Emma's camp trip, so it was CLEAR that it was something God wanted us to do! What a blessing that He has even seen to making sure that we can keep that promise we made, even though Lon's folks would have TOTALLY understood if we hadn't been able to.  And it is no small factor that we have something to look forward to in December, either.  Sort of like Emma, getting away for a bit, as she SO needed to do, we'll be able to come away, and spend some time just relaxing.  That will be a good thing, I'm sure. I know that just looking forward to it has done wonders already, for BOTH Lon and I!

An area of specific prayer, as we move forward, besides the ongoing processing that is happening for ALL of us, would be Lon's study of i-OS.  He wants to begin developing i-phone apps, and making a little extra $ on the side with that, to help pay the debt down even faster.  So pray for him, that he will find time to work on learning that, and that he will have a clear mind, to learn it quickly.  And that, once he learns it, he finds an opportunity to use his new knowledge well.  We have SO felt the power of having a lot of people praying for us, and we have been richly blessed by it, on SO many different levels.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers. 

We have felt your love, and HIS love and we count it as a huge blessing in our lives!!

sorta back to normal

I think I can safely say that life is beginning to get back to normal.  This week was spent relaxing some, working on unpacking some, doing some fun birthday stuff for Lon's and my birthdays, and generally not thinking about how the storm has impacted our lives, other than the little bit of blogging I did early in the week, in reaction to my interrupted 'sermon' last weekend, so that some of the things I had wanted to say were there, and people could read them if they wanted to. 

We still have a bit of unpacking to finish up.  Hopefully this weekend we will be able to get most of that done.  Mostly it's the garage and the school room.   Lon will work on the garage, I'll work on the school room.  We need to build a new rabbit hutch before the weekend is over, so hopefully that will happen too.  Poor bunny is in such a tiny cage for two months now!  Emma and I built the last one in less than a day, so Lon and I ought to be able to knock it out in a few hours. 

Last weekend we took time off on Sunday, to go do some fun stuff with the kids, to celebrate Lon's birthday - there is a small go-cart/amusement/water park in S. Huntsville that we did not know about until last week.  I had heard about it, but had it confused with another place, down in Birmingham.  Anyway, we went and drove go-carts and did a stint on the bumper cars.  It was very fun!  The boys particularly enjoyed themselves - they were pretty thrilled that they got to DRIVE!!  They did a pretty good job, too!

Wednesday was my birthday and while the day it's self was nothing particularly special, yesterday was alot of fun.  I drove up to Nashville in the afternoon, and picked Lon up from work, and we went downtown to eat YUMMY Indian food at an all vegetarian restaurant, and then to the Tennessee Performing Arts Center for a taping of one of our favorite radio shows, "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!!"  It was a nice evening with lots of laughter!  Just what we needed! 

It's nice to be getting into a bit of a routine, and back to normal.  By the end of the weekend, boxes that need to be unpacked should no longer be a part of our life, for now.  The storm shelter was installed on Monday.  It feels nice to have that in.  There are ALOT of big, tall, trees around us, so the thought of one of those falling on the house does make me just a tad nervous.  but every time I get nervouse about it, God reminds me to trust Him.

Still working on building that relationship, trust is a big part of that.

Some thoughts...

Having (sort of) shared my testimony on Sabbath, I've done a bit of processing lately and I have some thoughts I would like to share.  They sort of relate to the storm, in that the storm has certainly cemented these thoughts, but many of them were rattling around in my head, even before the storms hit.  I know that some of them might be difficult for some people to swallow.  I know I would have had a hard time accepting parts of them several years ago.  But, for now, this is my experience and you can take it as just that, my experience. 
So, here goes.  I believe that God is willing to TAKE you to difficult, even sometimes hurtful places, in order to draw you into a more intimate relationship with him.   Alot of people have a very hard time with the thought that God would LET anything bad happen to you, let alone cause it.  The problem with that is that 'bad' is totally a matter of perception.  I have a friend who had a house fire once.  They lost everything! That sounds just awful to most of us.  She now counts it as one of her biggest blessings.  We are feeling the same way about the storms at this point.  Not only because of the physical/financial blessings that have come about because of it, but mostly because of how it has helped us to feel God's abiding presence in our lives, particularly me, and a certainty that He is here with us, interested in our lives, and acting for our better good.  If it took living through a tornado for me to get to that point where doubt was no longer a plague that dogged my spiritual steps, then I say bring it!!  (not sure I would have said "bring it" on April 26 though) 
The unexpected outcome of this is also what it has done to fear in my life.  I have other fears (what mother doesn't?).  Tornadoes used to be a pretty big one - actually they still are, in a new, different way - because I KNOW -- but whenever I start to get fearful about something, I remember, "Hey - God kept us safe, protected our lives and even our stuff, and blessed us in the midst of a BAD tornado - WHAT am I worried about - we are in His hands"  There are other fears, things I don't like to talk about, or even think about.  But when they do pop into my head I find myself remembering the way that God was with us in the storm and I know that God would be with us if we were ever to have to actually face that other fear too.
I hope I can help the kids internalize this too. 
And the love is awakening too.  When I think about the fact that I can rest in the knowledge that God has us covered, and really let that sink in to the core of my being, love automatically begins to blossom there.  How can it not? 
I know my heart is a bit 'thick skinned' from previous hurts, and depressions, etc that I have experienced.  I have prayed for God to bring healing, and a healthy emotional state, so that I could FEEL His love for me, and FEEL love for Him.  I knew He was the only source for the healing that I needed.  I did not expect Him to take me through one of my biggest fears to get me there, but in hindsight it was (obviously - he IS God, after all) the PERFECT thing to get me to the point I needed to be at. 
The question I continue to have is: do I trust God enough to give Him full license to do whatever it takes to draw me into an even closer walk with Him?  It might be a rough road for a while, it might hurt, but in the end, I suspect it will be SO worth it.  I do know one thing - I hunger for that closeness to continue to grow, the little taste I have had has put a desire for more into my heart. 

Some things I guess I forgot to share...

So, it's been a few weeks since I've written.  There is a reason for that.  Two weeks ago Darlene asked me to share my testimony as the 'speaker' for church this week, so I've been busy processing and preparing for that.  In the process of getting that all organized in my head, and also visiting with Mike and Darlene this afternoon,  when they came to our house for lunch, I realized there were a few things that I had inadvertently left out of the blog.
One was the harp.  One of the first things I tended to when we first came upstairs after the storm was to get the piano covered up, and the harp picked up (it was laid over on it's side) and moved downstairs where it would be safer and dryer until we could get back to pick things up.  When I picked it up, and carried it downstairs (it's a smaller, folk harp, thankfully, not a BIG pedal harp) I heard and felt a sloshing coming from inside the sound box. But we were still in 'rush around and get as much covered as possible' mode, so I didn't take time to tend to it - getting the water out was going to be no simple task, because there are only small holes in the back of the sound box, only just big enough to get your hand in.  I mentioned to Emma that there seemed to be water in it, and apparently she stuck a towel down in there, but the towel was soon needed for something else, and she did not finish the job.
The next day, when we went back to retrieve things, it was one of the first things we brought up from the basement - it was already completely dry inside, even though it sat in the basement, where there was water all over the floor.  We had put it up on a pallet, but still!  HOW did it get COMPLETELY dry??
Now - before I tell you the next part - it will help to have a picture in your mind of the living room, if you have never seen it. (if you have, you can skip to the next paragraph)  It had a vaulted ceiling, with a large fireplace at one end - there were four large windows on either side of the fireplace, two on each side.  The bottom ones were about 7 feet tall and several feet wide, running all the way to the corners of the room on either side, above each of them was a second window, several more feet tall, and angled to match the roof-line.  Beside those window, in the side walls of the room were two doors, facing out, in opposite directions, onto the deck that ran all around the back of the house.  Those doors also had large glass panels in them.

Several days after the storm  - in an evening, when we were at Mike and Darlene's place, we suddenly realized, "hey, wait, the grill, that was sitting out on the deck before the storm - just outside the glass door that the harp was sitting next to, inside - that grill was found inside the house, in the middle of the living room floor.  Since we were not at the house when we realized this we wondered how in the world it got there, without seriously bashing the harp on the way through?  So the next day, when we were at the house we checked things out.  The glass, of that door, was intact (one of very few glass panels in the house that were left intact) the glass, just around the corner from that door, beside the fireplace, was also intact - however the glass above that, more than 7 feet off the floor, had a large, oval hole in it about the size of the grill (it's one of those Weber, portable grills, about three feet across and two feet high, and front-to-back).  So, it had apparently taken flight, and flown in through THAT window, around the corner from where it had been sitting, rather than through the one that it was sitting right next to, thus flying OVER the harp, rather than through it.  The harp did lay over on it's side, and it did have one broken foot (an easily replaced piece) and a couple of broken strings, but other than that, all the damage it sustained, including any water damage we fully expected it to have, was completely surface damage, not structural damage!! It is being easily repaired at the harp teachers' house, right now, until Emma gets home from camp in a few weeks and starts her lessons back up.  What a blessing.
Lon's guitar, on the other hand, did not fare so well.  The master bedrooms really seems to have taken quite a bit of the brunt of things.  There seemed to be the most plant/insulation/dirt/gunk matter splattered all over in there.  Just about a week ago I was looking back through some photos, and noticed a picture that was snapped the first time we went back to the house.  The bed, which was a sleep-number bed, sitting on a wooden platform was there in the picture, but no sheets, blankets, pillows, or even the dust ruffle, were there.  This was the type of dust ruffle that has a solid panel of fabric that was designed to lay on top of the box spring, covering the whole surface of the box springs, and the mattress lays on top of that.  It was just gone.  Plywood platform: still there, mattress: still there, dust ruffle: sucked out from between the two of them!   Most of the bedding was out on the deck, just outside of our bedroom, covered in glass shards and debris.  I'm not sure I ever saw the dust ruffle though.  Crazy.
Lon's guitar was resting in a stand in our bedroom and it was pretty badly demolished.  From now on, when we are under storm watch, all instruments go in their cases.  Had his guitar been in it's case, it probably would have been fine.  Especially if it was in a closet.
Michael did say something today that sort of took me aback at first, but he is so right.  Anyone caught in the up-stairs of our house would not have survived.  It's true.  There was so much glass and lumber and general debris flying around and being embedded into things, survival would have been difficult.  Several people have said that what they heard at first was that 'all the windows and doors were blown out' etc.  So their thought was, "ok - board up the windows, and well get a locksmith right out to re-secure the doors..."  Hearing that, and then going to the house...  two completely different pictures!  Even seeing pictures really does not do it justice.  It really looked as if a pressure bomb went off inside the house.  It really is a miracle that the house stood.  There is one neighbor who is pretty certain that the house is actually twisted on it's foundation, not just shifted to the side, but twisted in place.  It is also interesting to note that some things flew away from the house and some things flew towards the house.   It is entirely possible  that the very center of the tornado went directly over us.  The tremendous pressure we all felt in our ears, down there in the basement would also attest to that.  If that is the case then, in my mind, the only reason the house stood is because there was direct intervention from God.  That is my personal theory.  I'm not sure what to do with Doug and Nans' house - they are Godly people too, why was their home destroyed and ours saved?  Maybe, with no human life in there...  I don't pretend to be God, but I do know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God was there, with us, protecting us from the ruin that COULD have been wrought on us by this storm.  Not only did He protect our lives, he protected our stuff.  We did not have renter's insurance.  Yet most of our most valuable possessions were protected and saved.

From a very young age tornadoes have been a pretty big fear of mine.  (Snakes were another one - Before we moved to Thailand I told God- "if there is ever a snake in our house - I'm on the next plane home") I always knew that I simply could NOT live in a tornado-prone area.  When we came out to visit, and check the place out before we moved here, there had been a tornado that very week, and Mike and Darlene (that was who invited us home from church that first week that we visited) took us over to the area that had been hit - just a few blocks from their house!!  Yet, somehow, once we got here, God gave me tremendous peace about it all.  Every time there was a watch or a warning, we would just treat it sort of like a fire drill.  Head down into the basement and wait it out... etc.  Even I did not understand entirely why I was so peaceful about it all - it didn't make sense with how much I had feared tornadoes growing up.   The first warning we had when we first got here did put me a bit on edge, but after that, they were just a matter of coarse.  Perhaps it was partly the 'momma bear' thing, since I knew that Tommy had a pretty big fear in that area too, and that if I let any of my fear show it would only fan his flames.  I don't know.  But I do know that there was a peace that passed all understanding.  Even during the storm it's self.
It is interesting, now, to think about other fears that I have (including the thought of ever having to go through this again!!) and start to get tense and then think about how God has been so much in this with us, so much there for us, providing for our needs, blessing us, bringing us through what we thought would be one of the worst things that could happen to a family.  And to realize that those fears are not needed.  Just leave it with God.  He took care of us in the storm, I know I can trust Him with all of the other fears that I have in my heart too.  That is a pretty big thing for me to say, because trust has not, historically, been an area where God and I have been on the same page.  This storm has definitely taught me that I CAN... DEFINITELY  trust God.  What a blessing!!!

Still Here

Thought it might be time to write something more here, since it's been a little bit.  Life is starting to get back into some sort of a routine for those of us that are here.  Annie flew out to Idaho for the summer, last Sunday.  She seems to be having a blast out there.  The first time I called her she didn't answer, and when she called me back she said "Mom, don't CALL me!!"  It's true, though, I've been to these staff training events, they're schedule is PACKED with meetings and work projects.  So we wait for her to call us, and yesterday she had a NICE long chat with Lon.  Seems she is having a wonderful time!  I'm so glad she got to do that.  She didn't get hired, but she is volunteering for as long as they will have her there, possibly the entire summer.  Lucky girl to have a job here, that will still be there for her when she gets back - she cleans the church, and Sarah is just filling in for her, while she is gone.  Makes Sarah happy too!!

Lon has slipped pretty easily into a routine of driving up to Nashville on Monday mornings, and home on Fridays.  He was able to be home the first three Fridays, by working 4 ten-hour days, his boss allowed that, so that we could 'finish' getting settled.  But he found that schedule to be rather grueling, so he worked a normal 5 eight-hour days this week.  He'll occasionally do a modified schedule, just depending on what business-hour things he has to do here in HSV.  This next week we have some DMV work to do, and he has his sleep study follow-up appointment.  So he's not going back to Nashville until Monday, after we do those things. 

The kids and I got quite a bit done on unpacking this last week.  We are pretty much done with all the craziness of phone calls and dropping off documents regarding insurance, FEMA, SBA, etc.  Now we are ready to focus on getting UNPACKED.  So that feels good, to finally be getting settled a bit. 

We got the kids a pool and a trampoline, thanks to a generous donation from friends back in Portland, and we are enjoying being able to cool down by getting in there on a regular basis.  It also makes a GREAT incentive for the kids to get their 'chores' done every day, and actually behave themselves!!  (for the most part)  The weather has been rather on the hot side, in the hundreds often for the last three weeks.  A bit cooler this next week, which will be nice, only in the 90's, and maybe even 'only' the 80's.  I'm hoping to get at least a bit of a garden in, in the three garden boxes that we have here. 

The chicken coop is all finished now, thanks to some wonderful friends who took it on, and saw it to completion.  The only problem is that the chickens don't like to stay in their 'yard' so we are going to have to add some more mesh to things, and fasten down the mesh at the ground a little better.  They usually either squeeze under the mesh, or they stand at the top of the ramp from the coop, and fly over the mesh.  Hopefully that will get dealt with today. 

My leg is feeling MUCH better.  I've been doing alot of walking without even the boot on, around the house.  My 'final' (hopefully) appointment is on Tuesday of this next week.  So I'm hoping to be able to abandon that boot for the most part, and start working on some PT to get full range-of-motion back.

And, of course, God continues to work on my heart.  But I still have a hard time FEELING things, just because of how shut down my heart was for SO long.  It is a constant prayer of mine, for Him to bring complete healing to that part of me.  Seeing and feeling His presence through this whole experience has definitely settled the 'head' part of that healing.  Now, we just need to let the heart follow.  Any books that anyone wants to suggest would be much appreciated. And prayers.

I'm enjoying a new e-mail relationship with my brother.  He has been having some interesting interactions with my parents, and needed someone to vent to, so we have been doing ALOT of e-mailing back and forth.  It's been AWESOME!!  What a surprise blessing that has been!!  I'm really enjoying it!

We did go to a meeting with the old neighbors.  That was a miracle, how it all happened too.   I was out on some errands with one of the older girls in tow, and one of the things we wanted to do was go and dig up the daffodil bulbs I had at the old house.  We kept re-arranging the order of our errands and ended up heading up there in the heat of the day.  NOT our first choice!! (it was one of those 100+ degree days)  While we were driving up, we saw Nan driving through, and stopped to chat a bit, and she told me about it.  It's was focused more on people talking about insurance issues, etc, and what they are planning to do in the future (move away or re-build) so, since we are already moved away, she had not called me about it.  But, invited me, when she saw me, anyway.  It was that evening.  Fortunately I had nothing planned and was able to attend.  It was SO eye-opening to hear them all talk about the hassles they have had with their insurance, and finding contractors, etc.  Some of them have had an AWFUL time, but even the ones that have had a 'easy' time have CLEARLY spent a GREAT deal of time dealing with the whole process.  AND they are all living in temporary housing.   Attending that meeting helped me to realize just how fortunate we were to be leasing, and be able to walk away from the house and not have to deal with it. 

Everyone was, of course, wondering what we knew about what the homeowners were going to do with the house we were in.  So Lon called them, and it found out that it is indeed shifted on it's foundation.  It's actually twisted a bit, not just shifted to one side, but turned in place.  That is how close we came to having it sucked right off of us.  The homeowners are, unfortunately, badly under-insured.  So it is unclear exactly what will happen as far as demolition, etc.  Hopefully we at least hear about it before it happens.  It's amazing how many things we keep thinking of that still need to be picked up up there.  We go up about once or twice a week for this kid or that kid to get some item that they realized that they didn't pick up.  Lon is up there this morning, retrieving some game pieces from a game that got wet.  Emma thought it was a total loss, and then realized that the pieces are plastic, so they can be washed, and she wanted her 'lucky elephants'.  So Lon went to get them, and a pile of towels.  We kept wondering what had happened to all of our towels.  Then Lon saw a pile of them down in the basement.  They are a bit mildewy, etc.  But we are going to bring them home and wash them up and at least have them for rags.  He didn't pick them up when he saw them the first time, because he didn't think of using them for rags. So, nothing URGENT, but still, it would just be nice to have some warning before they knock the place down. 

We are going to buy new furniture this afternoon.  I found a nice faux Leather set, Couch, Love Seat, and recliner for less than what we saved on food from the SNAP money.  So, I'm taking Lon to see it today and talk price with them, but they are having a HUGE sale and the guy came down in price like $300 just when I came to see it the once.   (thanks for the tip about the sale, D!!) We're going to use the Dave Ramsey method of having cash on hand to get them to be willing to come down in price.  It's amazing what the sight of one hundred dollar bills does to a salesman's psyche!

The new cars are working out pretty well.  The van has some quirky things wrong with it, but it IS a nine year old car!  And every time I get mildly frustrated with the odd things it occasionally does, I just remind myself "NO PAYMENTS!!!"  You can put up with a great deal in that situation.  It WILL probably need a new transmission before too long, but we got it for a good deal less than blue-book price (probably for that very reason - it needs a new tranny) so it will be a wash in the end, financially, as far as the transmission goes.  We like it though.  It's nice to have something a little smaller to drive.  Parking is SO much easier!!!

Lon and I took a look at the long-term budget today, and it was pretty exciting to see that we can be completely debt free and have a nice buffer to cover us between Lon's work contracts, within about 18-24 months time!!  That is a good feeling for sure!!  People have been SO generous, and blessed us in SO many ways, financial and otherwise.  We consider all of the money that people have given us to be GOD'S money, and we expect to pay it forward to others in need, as God shows us where HE want's it spent!  That is going to be FUN!!

We went to a neighborhood picnic here in our new neighborhood last weekend.  That was NICE.  It was good to actually meet some people!!  There are several other home-school families, and there is a couple in our cul-d-sack who has a 9 year-old autistic grandson, who lives here in town too.  So we are hoping he and Ricky can play together a bit now and then.  

Ricky has been seeing his therapist, and had some testing done, and the clinic is telling us he is not autistic.  I'm not buying it.  They are basing it on the fact that his IQ is a certain number, and that apparently, according to them, makes it so he can't be autistic.  I've been reading on the internet, and found that NOT to be the case at ALL.  #1 - IQ tests are INCREDIBLY unreliable for autistic kids.  And #2 - ANYONE can be autistic, whether they are intelligent or not.  So we will likely be finding a new clinic to work with.  I'm not happy with all the pressure I get from this therapist to put him in school, either.  She is just convinced that home schooling is not what is best for him, and we spend so much time each month discussing that, that Ricky does not get the services he is supposed to be getting.  There is a great therapist in Decatur (a town not too far away, and CLOSER, now that we have moved) and I think we will just start working with her, instead.  She also specializes in adoption and attachment issues, so she'll be able to help in that area too. 

Well, one thing I want to do today is get a BUNCH of unpacking done, so I suppose I should get up from the computer and get going on all of that!!  Thanks for all of your prayers, and please continue to pray for us as we continue to 'recover' from this event and figure out how to move on from here.  God continues to work in our lives, it is never a completed project, is it???

PS - Emma found the one item that she particularly wanted to find, and couldn't, earlier.  It was a toy, that she had saved from her pet bird that died, just before we moved out here.  She found it in the toy box that had just been picked up and brought from Mayahna's room (That Emma used to share with her) That was a large part of what had her pretty upset before, and also the fact that a great deal of her stuffed animals had a 'smell' to them.  We were able to 'recover' most of the stuffed animals by setting them out in the sun for several days.  So, she is doing MUCH better, emotionally - thanks for all of your prayers on that one too!!  She's also going out to MiVoden for two weeks of camp, which lifted her spirits considerably!!  She was really bucking for MiVoden, rather than Alamisco, and I told her to pray about it, and ask God to provide the money.  HE DID!!!  (and then some!)  She leaves in two weeks.  She is, needless to say, counting the days!

shutting it down - NOT!

I had a crazy thought yesterday that maybe it might be time to warp up this 'storm-related' aspect of this blog.  From here on out, it's just going to be more of the same, right? Unpack, clean, put away, repeat.  How much is everyone going to want to read about all of that?

Perhaps God has some other plans for where this will go from here. I'm pretty sure, after today, that I need to attest to the extreme power of intercessory prayer.  I have seen the results of it SO CLEARLY in our lives over the last month.  I have said repeatedly that we have FELT the prayers of friends and family.  I know these prayers were what was carrying us through, because I know there has been an un-explainable peace and calm in the midst of this crazy month.  And I know that there have been answers that ONLY GOD could have know about.  Prayer has made all the difference in this situation, there is just no two ways about it.

And now, God is clearly calling me to offer it to other's in my life.  I have had three direct requests today, to keep specific people in my prayers.  Interesting thing is all four of the people involved are young people in single-parent homes.  These kids are HURTING and they need our prayers.  Unfortunately I am not at liberty to share names, but I would just ask that, if you are reading this, that you lift them up also.  You can call them 'K',  'M&M' and 'E'. God will know who you are talking about.  All of them are at that tough age, caught between childhood and adulthood and they are needing to make crucial life decisions.  Pray that God will have an opportunity to impact their lives in a meaningful way!!

The power of God has been so evident in our lives over the last month.  Someone even pointed out the other day, when I was marveling at the power of nature, that it's so amazing the God CAN control THAT too, when He chooses to!!  We serve an awesome, powerful, yet SO loving God.  He wants to be a part of our lives, SO BAD!  He is using events such as the one that hit us, and the floods and earthquakes and even 'smaller' personal crisis' to waken the hearts of men, and HOPEFULLY draw them to Him.   I hope that His return is SOON!!

A month ago today

Well, it's a month ago today.  It's hard to believe it has been that long.  Feels more like two weeks, maybe.  We are working through the various processes.  Still waiting for a check from Progressive for the trailer, so we can go buy the van.  Also waiting for the truck to be picked up by the salvage company.  We still have lots of unpacking (and cleaning of items) to do.  There are a few key kitchen items missing, such as waffle irons, so we can have our favorite Friday night supper, hoping to find those on Sunday.  We are still jumping through hoops at the SBA/FEMA.  I also still need to get connected with some counselors at United Way, so the kids can talk through some stuff - the storm earlier this week made that pretty CLEAR.  We are working through all the fun details with Lon's new job, such as getting auto-deposit set up, so that his check arrives a tad sooner every week, since we still seem to run the account right down there, even though so many people have been SO generous (have never over-drawn though - always have just what we need!)  People are helping us work on getting new digs built for the chickens and the rabbit.  Some new friends from church have been FAITHFULLY coming every day to work on the coop for the chickens, Lon and I got most of the fencing up today.  Both the coop and the fence will probably get completed on Sunday.  Emma and I will likely tackle the bunny hutch next week some time.  We are also going to need to get the guinea pigs' cage set back up too, since they were in a large cage in the school room before.   All of those critters have been (are) living in much more cramped quarters than they are used to until we get those projects done. Various kids are still sleeping on mattresses on the floor, they either don't like the options offered (the big girls seem to feel that they have 'outgrown' the girl bunk beds we have - they are beautiful wrought iron white things, with hearts in the head-board - too little girlish for their taste, I guess) or their beds were destroyed (the boys, and Sarah).  I need to start listing some items for sale on Craig's list, such as the cover for the trailer, which we won't need any more, since the trailer is gone, apparently (have not been back up to the house since last Friday afternoon, it was supposed to have been picked up on Monday).  We also need to get in touch with the land-lord to see what the status is on the house, I'm VERY curious whether it shifted on it's foundation or not, and if it IS going to be demolished, the boys want to watch (ok - I'll admit it, so do I)  At some point SOON, we need to follow through on the pot-luck that we promised all the old neighbors that we would have soon.  AND, we need to meet the NEW neighbors!!  And, last, but not least, we still need to get the storm shelter installed.  (we are on their work-order list, but our turn has not come up yet)

Wow - that is quite a to-do list!!  It's a good thing GOD is giving me strength for all this!!

 It's definitely feeling a bit like a marathon at this point, not a sprint.  But we have to stop and count the blessings too.  Here are several that I have not mentioned here yet:

There was an opportunity to apply for food-stamp money, based on income and family size.  We could potentially qualify for as much as $1200!  Another family at church gave us great directions as to what to bring, and when to go.  I had the added advantage of having a handicap parking permit, and crutches.  So I got let into a MUCH closer parking lot, and I got escorted to the FRONT of a 200-300 person line!!  I was there all of 30-35 mintues!!  We qualified!  The funny thing is, had Adtran (Lon's last job) done his last paycheck correctly, I don't think we would have.  They were supposed to with-hold a certain percentage out of this last pay-check to start re-paying the signing bonus that he got - since he wasn't there for at least a year, he had to pay that back - but they were only supposed to keep PART of the paycheck, and still pay him SOME.  Well, they with-held ALL of his paycheck, and while coming up several hundred dollars short at that point was not particularly fun God still saw to our needs, and that smaller number to report for income at the food stamp office caused us to stay within the 'income limit' for the month of May (the only one they looked at) and helped us qualify for $1200!!  The extra amount that Adtran with-held is not lost, either, it will mean that we have less to pay back later.  So, in the end, it was a double bonus.


also;

Back when I was still using crutches (I was allowed to start leaving them behind some, just over a week ago, at my two-week-follow-up appointment - and of course that is JUST what I have done!) but anyway, when I was still needing crutches all the time, I was having a hard time carrying all the stuff I might need to carry, since my hands were busy crutching.  I tried using my purse, but it was not staying on my shoulder.  One night, just after we moved into the new house, I was thinking how nice it would be if I could find my old 'Norm Thompson' style tear-drop purse.  But having not even known for sure where it was for sure, even BEFORE the storm, I didn't even mention that I was wanting it.  It wouldn't have done any good to mention it, since most people who were packing us up were just putting all the items that looked salvageable into whatever box, and very little labeling of boxes went on. One evening, just after we were getting all our stuff to the new house, as I was walking into the house from the garage and I saw it laying there, on TOP of some boxes!  I was able to use that as my purse for the several weeks that I've been in the boot still and still needing to use the crutches now and then, particularly when I go 'out.  It's been a helpful thing, and every time I open it, or pick it up, I'm reminded of God 'helping' me find it.  (ok - finding it FOR me!)

OK - WOW - I'm SUPER tired all the sudden.  I'll try to write more tomorrow afternoon/evening.   Sorry for the typos I'm sure are all through this, as I kept dozing off while I wrote.  I wanted to write something profound about the one month anniversary.  But I guess "there is still alot of work to do" will have to be as profound as it gets.  goodnight.

Taking Shelter

Well, we did end up going in the closet for about 20 minutes just after midnight last night.  Apparently a tornado had been spotted, on the ground, about 20 miles from here, headed our direction.  That rattled the nerves a bit.  Before, when we would go down in the shelter, it was just sort of a matter-of-fact thing we did.  The basement was large, there were chairs, we just sat, and waited out what ever was (or wasn't) going over.  This time, there was a new urgency and a keen awareness of what the storm could hold, and a palpable fear.  We had prayer and I played some calming music on my i-pod.  The power went out.  It was tight quarters, and stuffy.  People were half asleep, so not as cooperative as might have been nice, but who is worried about 'nice' at that point?  The most frightening thing for me was that just as I was sending half-asleep Mayahna and Tommy into the closet under the stairs, I heard the house creaking!  That was a little TOO familiar for MY taste.  But I did soon realize that the creaking was just Annie, walking around upstairs, waking Emma and Ricky for them to come down.  Ricky was not easy to wake and convince of the need to come get in the closet.  He doesn't tend to want to do anything Annie tells him to do, anyway, let alone when he has just been woken up.  But we did all get there, and hunker down for about 15-20 minutes, until they gave us the all clear on the phone.  With the power out, and thus the internet connection not working, that was a nice feature to have, probably the best four-dollar app I've bought! 

We came out just after 12:15, but some were not willing to go sleep in their own rooms, as they wanted to be closer to the closet in case we needed to go in (not sure how that is going to work when the storm shelter is installed in the garage!).  Tommy had fallen back asleep, back in the very back of the closet, so we just left him there, to sleep the rest of the night right where he was.  He was a tad confused this morning when he woke up in such a strange place.  Ricky slept on the couch, just outside the closet.  Mayahna and Emma slept with me (the closet door is just outside my bedroom door).  We did get to sleep pretty quickly, amazingly, I guess because we knew the phone would wake us up if we needed to go back in.  The lights came back on at about 2, I got up, turned everything off that we had left on, and went back to bed and back to sleep. 

I looked at the news, briefly, this morning, and didn't see anything about tornado damage that took place last night.  Though, when Lon called just now, he said he had heard there were trees down in Limestone county (our new county)  I'm guessing it's out in that area west of Athens, where the twister was spotted last night.  Glad it was small, and didn't stay on the ground too long.  Glad the storm season is almost over.  Glad that God answered the prayers of our family and many others who were praying for us, that we did not have to repeat our experience of four weeks ago.

Annie did ask, as we were heading for the closet, "If we get hit again, are we moving back to the NW?"  I had to answer honestly: "The thought HAS crossed my mind!"  Though, honestly, where is a safe place to be?  There isn't one, in case you have not noticed!  This world is not a safe place.  AND - it is NOT our home!!!

There will be thunderstorms throughout the day today, and into tomorrow.  But they are saying it will be nothing 'organized enough' to produce severe weather.  It will give us plenty of opportunity to exercise our faith muscles, though!  Some of the thunder that happened last night, after we came out of the closet, was pretty amazing thunder - it rolled on and on and on, and it rattled the house.  I never could keep my eyes open long enough to watch for the lightening and count to see how far away it was.   It's rumbling out there right now, too.  I think the rest that Sabbath brings this week, because it will come at the end of two stormy days, will be a VERY welcome rest.  Similar to the rest we will receive when Christ comes to rescue us from this mess of a world we live in.  Looking forward to that day, more and more!

Tornado Watch!

So, we are currently under Tornado watch this evening, for the next three and a half hours.  I'm not sleeping.  Mostly because I don't know that the app that I just purchased on my phone is configured right to wake me up.  The weather radio that we used to use is still in a box somewhere. 

We don't have a storm shelter installed here yet.  We are on the 'work order' sheet for Alabama Tornado Masters, but we are still about three weeks out from installation. 

Am I trusting God?  You bet.  Am I still on edge?  You bet.  Does that make sense?  Probably not.  But it's where I am.  I do know that God IS in this with us.  That no matter what happens, He WILL walk right beside us, just as He has proven Himself to be doing over the last four weeks (hard to believe, four weeks ago today!) But, that does not mean that the thought of going through it all AGAIN does not make my head spin just a bit (no pun intended!)

The kids are all resting peacefully.  We received a copy of Gnomeo and Juliette today, in the mail, so we SEARCHED for the box with the DVD player in it, so we could watch it on the big screen.  Emma and I found it!!  So that was a nice treat.  During the middle of the movie I received notice of approaching storms on my computer.  I did not tell the kids.  They all went to bed after the movie was over and I'm hoping that I don't have to wake them up. 

We just up-graded to a 'severe thunderstorm warning' - but the effected areas seem to be just north of us, so that is good.  The really good news is that the alerts on my phone DO seem to be working, so, perhaps I should go ahead and see if I can get some sleep.  It is pretty nice to be able to narrow down the types of alerts we get.  And living on the far EASTERN edge of the county, rather than the far Western edge (we moved just over the county line, into the county just west of where we used to live) makes the notices much more relevant.  Before we would get woken up to be told about squalls that had already passed us over!!  Or things like 'flash flood warnings' (we lived on a bit of a hill, with NO creeks or rivers ANYWHERE nearby) This will be much nicer, it will only wake us up when we need to get up and go into the shelter!  (or the closet under the stairs, as the case may be, for now)

Lon is in Nashville.  So I have it set to wake me up if he has stuff approaching too.  He'll be home tomorrow night.  That will be good. 

Keep on keeping on, and LOTS of questions.

So, we've reached the endurance part of the race.  Alot of the help has gone back to their own busy lives.  Media attention is focused on Joplin, MO and will soon be focused on some town in Oklahoma that is still awaiting their own fate, even as I type, as more storms roll through there today.  Life rolls on.  People start talking about other stuff, like NFL lock-outs and the latest favorite American Idol singer.  But at our house, we are anything but done with this event.  We still have stuff to clean, sort and put away.  We still have raw feelings and easily upset stomachs.  We still have damaged furniture.  We still need to work with the insurance companies and FEMA and the SBA.  We still have everyday stuff that needs to be done that can't be done because we can't find the cable to our printer.  We still have bills to pay, and baby showers to plan, and church duties to fulful.  Life rolls on.  But it is so different now.  I am resting in the knowledge that God IS a God who WILL be with you in the midst of the mess that your life might be in at the moment.  I am keenly aware of - and grateful for -friends in my life who have listened to His calling, and have in one tangible way or another, offered to help in ways that only GOD could have known we needed!  I am very much tuned in to the fact that MANY people have been praying for us, and that those payers HAVE made a difference, from the very beginning, before the storm even hit, with things being lined up just right for this or that thing to happen just the way it did.  For the storm it's self to have downgraded to an EF 3, according to reports (though there are those who differ with that opinion, particularly Nan and Doug, the neighbors across the street!) and not to have sucked the house right off of it's foundation, as it well could have done had it been an EF 5 when it hit us.  Right down to today, and encouraging words arriving in my text message box just when I needed them, and friends arriving to finish building the chicken coop that our poor girls (as the chickens are affectionately called) so desperately need.  We just so clearly see God here with us in the midst of all of this.  I sincerely hope that we never lose that complete trust that we have gained through this.

I do wonder, though, what about people who DON'T feel that?  What about people who lost a loved one?  What about people who just add this to the list in their mind, of reason why they can't trust God.  How do we reach out to them?  Is there some way to help them FEEL the essence of God's LOVE for them?

And what about this old world?  How much longer can we go on?  And what makes us think that, now, just because we are facing these crazy weather events, that we are any closer to some sort of end to the world of pain than any other person in any other place, such as Africa, where they have faced DECADES of weather 'issues' AND political upheaval TOO, on top of that?  Sure I want Christ to come and take us all away, but really, what makes us think that a few storms and/or earthquakes means that it is happening any sooner than it was before?  And even if it does, somehow, mean that, what does it change in what I do? 

Really, it keeps coming back to relationships.  To knowing the people around you and loving them.  To helping them in any way you can.  To taking the opportunity to listen to someone talk about how their day is going, or what struggles they are facing today.  To being open to how the Spirit leads you to reach out to those around you that are hurting or searching or even those who are NOT hurting or searching, and just simply getting to know them better.  God is a god of RELATIONSHIPS.  So much so that He could not be just one being, He had to be THREE beings, in order to have relationship, even within the God-head it's self.  He created us to be connected!  Connected to Himself and connected to other human beings.  If we are not pursuing this connection with those around us, we are missing out on tremendous blessings He has for us, and we are holding that blessing back from those whom we might otherwise be able to bless. 

Sorry, stepping off the soap-box now.  But it's a blog - so it's a log of my thoughts, and that is what I'm thinking about today. 

Emergency kits

10 people have replied to my survey - 2 of you have emergency kits prepared.  Hmmmmmm....

Here is a list of suggested items -
*Water bottles, two or three of them should be enough, four or five if you have room.
*Food for 72 hours.  Remember, your appetite might be 'off' - I ate VERY little in the first 72 hours after the storm.  You are typically running on adrenaline, so don't over-pack on the food front.  Simple-to-digest, high-energy stuff is a good place to put your focus.
*A change of clothing, including socks, underwear, etc. If you live in cold-weather climate, remember needs for that during that time of the year.
*any meds/toiletries that you can't live without (stores were closed, due to power outage, so people were not able to fill prescriptions)(I recommend rotating these, every time you fill your scrip, put the new one in here, and take the one out that has been in there for a month and use it.  - if your med has to be refrigerated I'm not sure what you would do)
*a change of shoes if you can fit it in. (particularly important if you run a 'shoe-less household' and people are likely to be caught without their shoes on)(several of our kids, and the neighbor's boys too, were shoeless.  There was glass EVERYWHERE! Those of us with shoes had to go dig through the rubble and try to find shoes for those that didn't have them.  One of our son's walked out in his church shoes and no socks!)
*cash ($40-50 should be enough, though more wouldn't hurt)
*copies of important documents, such as driver's license, marriage license, lease papers, mortgage papers, birth certificates (be sure that at least one verifies your address for you).  Many people were unable to get assistance from FEMA until they could prove that they were from the affected areas, and/or prove that they were who they said they were.  Store these inside of a zip-lock bag. 
*a head-lamp/batteries - hand's free is a VERY good thing.  Particularly if you will be dealing with children in your 'escape'.  (and remember to rotate the batteries out now and then)

I recommend that you pack it all into some sort of a small back-pack.  Again with the hands free thing.  We were dragging wheeled suitcases behind us as we walked over a mile to where the cars were.  We had to walk through water for 150-200 feet, holding tight to hands of kids and CARRYING the suitcases at that point.

Anyway, that is my suggestion.  Spoken from experience.  It would probably be a good idea to check sights like the Red Cross, etc and see if they have more comprehensive lists.