I hope this doesn't ramble too much, my apologies right from the start, if it does. I guess turning 50 is good reason to do some thinking and introspection. I've been thinking about life so far, and what vision I have for my future. I've been thinking about my relationship with God. About healing that has been provided at various points in my life, not the least of which was the trip in May, to Renton, and, of course, the aftermath of the tornado (those stories begin here if you are interested). About healing that I need to help facilitate in others, particularly the injured children that have been entrusted to our care. And how best to facilitate healing in others. Some pretty deep thoughts.
I'm not sure where to start. Maybe in the reading I did last week, in the book of John. The story of the woman, caught in the trap that was set for her, of adultery. I got interrupted in my reading in an interesting place and it brought a new insight into the reading. I've read it hundreds of times. I even played the role of this woman, every Sabbath afternoon, for an entire summer! But I never saw this... here, read it with the text stopped where I got interrupted:
John 8:4-6
“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down....
Freeze frame while Jesus is in the act of stooping. What is Mary thinking? What would YOU be thinking? I know my thought would be "Here comes the first rock, and I obviously deserve it!" I really think this is where MUCH of Christianity is frozen. We seem to live our lives in constant fear of God's judgement of us and seem to think that instilling that fear in others will motivate them to love God. (REALLY?!?) Even if we put all interaction with others aside, and only focus on our own 'stuff', we tend to focus on the sin, and the bad thing we did, and expect God to be the first to stoop and pick up a rock, unleashing the onslaught of judgement, not only from him, but from all the 'good people' around us, who will get on board and start throwing their stones, too, and bring on painful (almost welcomed) death.
Ok - frame still frozen - what if you were one of the people in the crowd, or one of the men bringing her to Jesus. Jesus is stooping, what are you thinking? Here is what I think I would have been thinking (not proud of it, but willing to admit it): "See! Here he goes, he's gonna pick up a stone, and get this thing started... she deserves it, she CLEARLY sinned!" The law will be carried out and she will get what she deserves.
Ok - unfreeze...
verses 6-8
...and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer,
so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never
sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again...
another freeze frame. Stop and think about it. Jesus himself was the only person in that entire crowd (in the entire history of the world) who actually had a right to pick up the first stone, and throw it, because he is the only one who had never sinned. But... (unfeeze)
verses 8-11
...and wrote in the dust.
When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.
As Christians we seem to want to get a bit hung up on that last thing he said, but we need to remember that HE is really the only person who has ever lived on this earth, who stayed perfectly connected to the power that one needs to accomplish that 'sin no more' thing, and thereby be in any kind of a position to throw a stone. It is only through being connected to HIM that any of us have any hope of living in anything even remotely resembling that 'sin no more' reality. And we need to stay far far away from that place where we keep pointing out the sins of others and demanding an answer from God about it, because chances are, if we push him far enough, He's gonna start writing about our sins, in the dust.
I know for myself, I live in a constant struggle with the devil, to sin. It's a daily/hourly/minute-by-minute thing. If it's not my temper, it's despair, or appetite control, or time management, or judging others, even sarcasm... any list of things. I do not personally struggle with homosexual desire. But many do. But my focus clearly needs to be my OWN sins.
Sometimes as a parent, the things we say to our kids kinda come back around and hit us between the eyeballs. When the kids come to me, all worried about some wrong that the other one has committed, I often catch myself telling them, "Managing your own business is a FULL TIME JOB, and honestly, you are not succeeding at it well enough yet, to be signing up for the job of managing your brother, or anyone else. So focus on your own stuff, please." I think this is the lesson Jesus was teaching to every member of the crowd there, that day, and I think it is a lesson that Christians, as a whole, today have missed in a pretty big way.
In light of all the craziness about the LGBT agenda, etc recently. I think this story carries a VERY important message to Christians. We are in NO position to be casting ANY stones. Until we are 'managing our own issues' we have no business signing up for the job of managing anyone else's. And I don't know about you, but I pretty much know I'm never going to be in that position, because it has become very clear to me that the only way I'm EVER gonna 'manage my own stuff' is through the power of CHRIST. It's never going to be me, it's ALWAYS going to be HIM.
So, take another step outside of the story and think about the response that Mary had to Jesus after this event. She became his LOYAL follower, loving him, and serving him in any way that she could. We often find her sitting at Jesus feet. Like Mary did before us, when we come to a clear realization of where we stand, without Christ, (accused), what God COULD be offering us, based on what we deserve (Him stooping to pick up the first stone) and what we get instead (Love and acceptance and HELP in overcoming the sin in our lives) how can we NOT fall at His feet in adoration??
So, if I step back into the story, and am honest with myself enough to realize that I might be one of the crowd, who will be quietly slipping away, without picking up a stone. Or maybe I can see myself in Mary's shoes, and realize that I have stuff I need to work on TOO, and the ONLY way I'm gonna accomplish any sort of 'overcoming' and 'sinning no more' is through Christ. And then stop and think about the AMAZING gift that He gives us, when he says to us "Neither do I condemn you," and he then provides a way for us to connect to the power that we have access to, through His death. The realization of this one fact should bring such JOY to my life, in having found the source of power over sin (and death), in my own life, that I would just want to share that joy. AND - I would realize that the ONLY help I can offer to others who might be sinning in a certain, 'particular way' would be to share my testimony of JOY with relation to what Christ has accomplished in ME (note that this involves admitting to being a person in NEED of God's help!) And then, step back and let GOD'S power do the 'work' that needs to be done in their life. I can't do that work for them, only Christ can. I don't WANT to, I have plenty of my own stuff to keep me plenty busy! But what a joy it brings when I realize that God is faithful to complete the good work that He has begun in me! (Phil 1:6)
So, that is one thought, then another thought is the whole internalization of that love. I have had a head knowledge of God's love for my entire life. I have had moments of realization, and internalization of the power of that fact at various points in my life. Since May, in a very big way, it has become MUCH more 'real' to me.
I spent the first 32 years of my life, not really planning on getting much older than my mother got. I realized this when I was in psychology classes in college and did some reading about children who lost older siblings, and how they often have a hard time imagining themselves getting older than the age at which the older sibling died. I realized it applied to me, with relation to my mother. I did some processing and working on that, and eventually got 'past' it, and to a point of really just wanted to 'live like her' as much as I could. One of the girls once asked what she was like, and I kind of realized that my answer to that was pretty nebulous in my mind, and perhaps other people who knew her better could answer it better, so I took her with me to see my gramma the next time I went to visit her. She asked my grandmother, "What was my Gramma Luanne like?" First, Gramma had to fight back tears, (as it seems nearly anyone who knew my mother has to do, when they think of her, even all these years later!) eventually she was able to say "She loved her Lord". That has really stuck with me. Would people say that about me? Or would it be more like "She knew her facts about God's word"? Or, "she did what she could, to serve God." Which is noble, but without the loving relationship, my understanding is that I stand in danger of God saying "depart from me, I do not know you." The struggle has been, for me, how to get that 'head knowledge' to transfer to a 'heart change'. And thinking about the powerful thing that must have happened in Mary's mind, when she realized that Jesus was NOT stooping to get a stone, he was simply clearing the crowd, so that he could offer her hope. When I meditate on that, my heart gets all up there in it, real easy!!
Turning 50 has kind of made me assess those 'what is my life standing for' things, and given me the opportunity to assess things, and, being 50, I am in position to decide that this is a good point to make changes for the rest of my life. I have even started thinking that 50 more years sounds good. That is not something I would have said at ALL in my years of depression. But now I'm kind of thinking it sounds pretty good. I feel like I got the hard stuff all worked through (for the most part) finally, and I'm ready for the 'joy' and 'peace' and 'contentment' part, and the 'happily ever after' part. And that involves the focused internalization of the first part of this post. God is the ONLY being who is in a position to judge me, and when Jesus stoops, and I might THINK he is bending to get a stone, He is not. He is spelling out the fact that "ALL have sinned" and then he stands, gives me a hug and says "Lets tackle this together" - LOVE comes as a natural response to the knowledge that HE does not condemn me, but rather offers a solution to the sin problem in my life!!!
So, here's to June 30, 2015 - the first day of the rest of my life, where I live in His joy, His peace, His contentment, and His LOVE.
As for helping the children in our home, understand about love, that might need to come in a different post, as this one has already gotten very long, or even possibly in that book I keep threatening to write. But suffice it to say that when children are not nurtured in those oh-so-important, early formative years, it is a constant uphill battle, to convince them that someone - anyone - loves them. Their brains actually develop physically differently than children who are raised in a nurturing environment. There are studies showing now, that their brains are actually 'hard-wired' to approach life from a point of constant FEAR. I think this applies to my own life, and my past relationship with God, and I know that the only source of healing for me has been God - and that the only source for the kids is one-and-the-same. The 'how' is the challenging part. How to help them to internalize it. I would covet your prayers on that one. If nothing else, having these kids around has certainly put me in the position of realizing just how much need I have of God, because I know that I simply can not do this on my own! What a relief to know, that I don't have to!!!
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Our Experience In Renton
I have been meaning to get on here for some time now, and write about the time that we recently spent in Renton, Washington. It's kind of hard to process everything that has been happening for so long now. Many of you know that I suffered from depression for many years, with a great deal of healing coming from the way we saw God's hand in our lives so clearly, after the tornado hit us in 2011. What a lot of people didn't know was, that I had prayed just a few weeks earlier that God would show Himself to be REAL. I had lingering doubts about whether there really WAS a God, still flowing out of the unanswered prayers of my childhood, particularly the death of my mother, even though we prayed for her to get well. Through providential protection and so many other miraculous things that happened during and after the tornado, and also through the kind acts of so many of you, God answered that prayer in a resoundingly clear way, and used the tornado to show Himself to be not only real, but powerful and intimately involved in our daily lives. While I would NOT want to do it again, if I had to choose now I would not 'undo' that experience from my life, not in a million years.
So, fast forward to the recent months. Lon's and my relationship has been 'rocky' for a very long time. Pretty much since my depression hit after Annie was born 21 years ago, and honestly, things were not exactly 'peachy' even before that. We have seen several (many) counselors over the years getting various levels of help from some of them along the way, and from some virtually no help, in fact some sort of even made things worse, in some ways! The last few months, since about October have been particularly difficult, and by about February I was just completely worn out. I had nothing left to give. I had even asked Lon to leave for a while, at one point, so that we could sort of 'get our bearings' and figure out how to go forward from there. I don't think nitty-gritty details really contribute much to the story, but suffice it to say that I was still lacking a clear understanding of God's infinite love for me, and therefore was still struggling with the last vestiges of my depression, and Lon has struggled for a long time, with being able to understand things from other people's points of view, and he also had a tendency to 'form strong opinions' about certain people in his life, in particular those closest to him (both pretty typical characteristics of Engineers, I hear). The mixture of the two (my depression and his 'issues') was not like water and oil, it was rather like kerosene and fire. It was not good. Though, I do have to say, we had progressed past the 'explosive' stage (that had lasted for several very unhappy years), into a rather frightening 'I really don't give a care any more' stage (at least I had, I can't really speak for Lon).
At this point, while I no longer doubted God's existence, I really just had a strong desire for Him to grant us some peace in our lives. And I wanted a clear picture of His LOVE for me, because I have always had a difficult time internalizing that fact - I believe it in my head, but have a hard time 'feeling it' in my heart. So my prayer had been something along the lines of "show me your love and grant me peace - heal my 'broken' (as in not correctly functioning) heart". I was simply very very tired of the constant hurt.
In early March a dear friend reached out with a possible solution. She and her husband had struggled in similar ways to our struggles and had reached a 'point of no return' several months ahead of us. A friend of theirs had put them on to the place in Renton, Washington, suggesting that if they were going to split, they should go there first, so that they would at least know that they had tried EVERYTHING first. It literally saved their marriage, and by extension, their family. She suggested that we look at the website and consider going for the week-long intensive marriage session that they had gone for. She even indicated that the associated 'suggested donation' was pretty much already covered, by the giving that they had done, since their experience there. The session involved a full week, three hours every morning with the counselor (who happens to be a former Engineer, who had a failing marriage, too, and set out to find ways to improve it, and in the process felt called to change his career to ministry and counseling), and then homework for us to do in the afternoons. It seemed like a pretty big commitment, and having had some recent bad experiences with counselors, I was a little reticent at first, but after looking at the website, decided that this place might be our only hope. The thing that impacted me the most was that they said that they were not in the business of 'treating symptoms' but rather, getting to the root of the issue and providing healing there, from God, and letting the symptoms take care of themselves. Another friend, who had walked with me during an earlier crisis in our relationship, several years ago, had suggested that each of us finding healing for our deep-rooted injury, was really the only way that the pain was going to get to a 'manageable' level, so it sounded like this place would accomplish that 'goal-that-I-had-in-the-back-of-my-mind' too. Sort of 'kill two birds with one stone.' So we made plans to get to Renton for a week.
Annie had a trip out here planned for early May, to go through her stuff and figure out what to keep and what to ship out to Walla Walla, and then Sarah and I were to travel out there for a few days of wedding planning. (I apologize if this is the first you are hearing of the wedding - as you can see, life has been a tad more crazy than usual, lately - more will follow on this topic before long.) So we arranged for the visit to Renton to tag on to the end of that trip. It worked out nicely, because I was also able to spend Mother's Day with my (step) mom, in Yakima on my way over to Renton, from Walla Walla (specially nice, since it's her first Mother's Day without Dad at her side). But I'll be honest, there were days in March and April where I was not sure we would make it to that date in May, and there were days when I was not sure whether I really wanted to go at all. I knew there was going to be painful work to do there, and 'giving up' seemed easier, in a twisted, mixed up kind of way. But I also knew that it was likely the only way 'out' (of the painful current existence) that didn't involve a separation of some sort, and that that path is NOT easy either, so I sort of mentally took a deep breath and trudged forward.
The weeks leading in to the intensive week were interesting to say the least. Mayahna was in full 'attachment melt down' because first there was a week all about Emma, and turning 16, and getting her license, and starting work, and going to academy days... etc. Then there was the week that Annie was here, and everything was all about Annie, two bridal showers, belated birthday celebrations, etc. Then I left for a week, then Lon left, too, for a week. She pretty much dug her heals in at school and made a HUGE problem for herself, not getting any school work done for weeks! But, thankfully, we have an excellent teacher who 'gets it' and just let it be Mayahna's problem and rolled with it. And in the end it worked it's self out.
Our friends who had gone before us, had warned us that the devil would pull out all stops to try to keep us from going, but to be honest, other than Mayahna's situation and the finances of Lon not working for a week, we didn't face that much. In fact there was marked improvement in our relationship, due to some of the pre-visit reading that was assigned. Personally I attribute this lack of 'attack by the devil' to the many friends who were praying for us for several weeks before we went and while we were there. People around us have always been a HUGE part of how God shows us His love. It was true this time too.
One particular area where we saw this, besides feeling your prayers, was when we looked into renting a car. We found that there were two cost prohibitive factors, #1 - the car rental places all want to charge a 'drop fee' when you pick up in one location (Spokane) and drop off in another (Renton, or Portland) - as much as $500!! To say nothing of the daily usage fees, mileage fees, etc... #2 - our timeshare, in Seattle, charges $20/night to park your car! So we decided to skip the rentals on this trip and 'impose' on friends/family, and use public transportation. It was actually kind of nice, we got to see several people we might not have gotten to spend time with, and have some awesome conversations that we would have missed out on, had we had the 'convenience' of a rental car. We also spent the night with several different friends who graciously opened their homes to us - just before, and just after our stay in Seattle. The friends all seemed to enjoy the opportunity to help, and while it felt a bit like 'imposing' - I know that if friends were out here, and in need of a ride somewhere or a place to stay, we would jump at the opportunity to help (and we actually have, on several occasions and LOVED it), so the network of 'people who care' came through in a nice way, there, too. And the convenience of cell phones and facebook made it SO much easier to co-ordinate. Thank you, to those who helped, you know who you are!
We arrived at the counseling center on Monday morning, a bit apprehensive, but also, not in quite such a bad place as we had been in February/March, as we had just had two busy weeks of time with Annie and of Lon caring for the home front, while I was out in the NW. Lon discovered right away, that not only was Bob a former Engineer, he is also an avid cyclist, having ridden his bike to work that morning. So the two of them hit it right off. The sessions were very good. The reading we had done, to prepare for our visit had made a measurable difference already. Particularly the book "Bondage Breakers" by Neil Anderson, and the book "Love and Respect" by Eggerichs. We had had that last book on our bookshelf for several years, and had just not ever taken it down to read it... crazy. Mostly the sessions were about getting to the heart of each of our deep hurts, and finding the healing that GOD has available there. There was some personality testing, and some 'helpful hints' on how to relate to one another based on the results of the tests, and there was some forgiveness work, both of each other, and of others who have hurt us, and even of God. And there was very pointed prayers banishing the devil and removing the strongholds he has managed to get in our lives and in our relationship. It was hard work in some ways, and so EASY in others - but mostly it was just SO worth it. From what our friends had told us (well, what she had told me, really) our sessions were quite different than theirs, though there was a basic frame work that he seemed to follow, he also seemed very adept at catering to the specific needs of us as a couple - helping us know how to tackle some of our specific break-downs in communication, etc. I think this 'difference' between how he counseled us, and how he might counsel others is because he is clearly very purposeful about putting himself in a position of being lead by The Holy Spirit and only 'going places' that The Spirit leads. He certainly seemed to know JUST what we needed, and I can honestly only attribute that to the wisdom of the God who knows us better even than we know ourselves.
Many times in the past when we were working with various counselors, etc, we have ended up with a certain amount of 'dependance' on the counselor. We'll find ourselves saying things like "We'll have to wait, and discuss this next time we are with John". What we felt with Bob, was that he lead us to the throne of grace, and plugged us in to the power that is there. Hard to believe that two multi-generational Adventist kids would need that, particularly in light of where our membership was for 10 years, while we were living in Oregon/Washington (our pastor there consistently preached God's grace, almost every single week!) but we did need it - I guess we had heard it, but not fully internalized it, nor extended it to each other.
You would think that there would have been a sense of clouds parting, and angels singing, and sunlight shining in some new amazing way, etc. There really wasn't. Perhaps this is why I have not written yet. I have been processing, because there was no 'big ah-ha moment', there was not a 'huge break-through' or a 'jump up and down' kind of sudden relief of the pain. In fact the devil has managed to remind me of some of the pain a few times since. But the beautiful thing is that there is peace (that passes understanding?) and there is joy, and there is grace between us, now, where there was judgement before. We have both voiced the relief of how wonderful it feels to finally be on the same team again!! Simply put, we were reminded of the infinite grace that God extends to us, and shown that sharing that grace with each other is a helpful thing in our relationship (another 'duh-oh' moment!), and that realization has brought great peace, which also breeds a quiet kind of joy. It is a beautiful thing.
While there may not have been any 'big moment', there has been an AMAZING reinforcement and continuation of the message that Bob laid out for us. Friday when we were done, we went down to Portland on Amtrak and got to see so many dear friends while we were there, but the coolest thing was that the church service at our old church was like God took Bob's message and wrapped it up in a neat package and tied a bow on top, the sermon was about 'coming into the light of God's LOVE' and the songs were all perfect manifestations of what we were feeling in our relationship, both with each other and with God. And then, we got home, and were only here for five days, and then packed up and headed to KY/TN campmeeting for ten days. Lee Vendon was one of the speakers and his messages were more of the same!! God is so good, He wants to be close personal friends with us, and He provides healing, and He provides GRACE, in the face of divine judgement. THAT is the good news. And THAT is what saved our marriage (by "coincidence" it is also what saves the WORLD!). It was God. He used the Northwest Biblical Counseling Center, to bring that healing to us, in a way that no one else has been able to before, perhaps because we were able to set aside concentrated time, and focus on the deep need we each had, perhaps because we were finally at a point where we were willing to recognize the fact that we NEEDED it. I don't know, but I'm sure glad He did!!
So, what I have learned (so far) is that there are three prayers that God is pretty faithful to answer, if you are brave enough to pray them. #1 is - "Please show me that you are real." (That is the one that takes bravery, and you better brace yourself, when you pray it!). And #2 is - "Please show me how much you love me." (I think He REALLY enjoys answering this one, and actually waits ANXIOUSLY for us to pray it!). And #3 is - "Please heal me." Even though these answers may not come on our schedule, or in the specific way we might expect. Though this one is typically more consistently answered when it is prayed like this: "Please heal my heart and teach me to love you back." It is heart-healing that He focuses His energy on. God does not seem to be terribly concerned about our physical comfort here on this old, short-term, worn-out planet - what He wants is our hearts. And my experience tells me that He is pretty much willing to pull out all the stops to get to them. What. an. amazing. God. we. serve!
PS - I have continued to listen to Lee Vendon's messages on his website, if you are interested, it is AllAboutJesusSeminars.com - the series he has there under the 'Media Player' tab, on the book of John is excellent!! And there are many more, that I plan to work my way through.
And here is the link to NWBCC: NW-BCC.org - if you know anyone who is struggling in their marriage, or even as a single person, in their walk with God - I would HIGHLY recommend a visit to this place. There is healing available there, through the power of God's grace.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
a recipe I want to try
This is a simple side dish worthy of a dinner party and couldn’t be easier to make. Four ingredients, a couple of minutes to prepare and toss in the oven for an hour.
Ingredients
1 (approx 2lb) head of organic green cabbage, cut into 1″ thick slices
1.5 tablespoons olive oil
2 to 3 large garlic cloves, smashed
kosher salt
freshly ground black pepper
spray olive oil OR non-stick cooking spray
Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 400F and spray a baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray. Pull outer leaf off cabbage (it’s usually dirty and nasty looking), cut cabbage from top to bottom (bottom being root) into 1″ thick slices.
2. Rub both sides of cabbage with smashed garlic.
3. Use a pastry brush to evenly spread the olive oil over both sides of the cabbage slices.
4. Finally, sprinkle each side with a bit of kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper.
5. Roast on the middle rack for 30 minutes. Carefully flip the cabbage steaks and roast for an additional 30 minutes until edges are brown and crispy.
Serve hot and Enjoy!
Thursday, February 13, 2014
The Loan has cleared the bank
Let me start out by saying THANK YOU to all who were praying for this to happen for us. God is good.
Signing will take place on Feb 28 and we will be all moved up there by March 9, hopefully.
So we are in the 'packing mode' now, though I've taken a bit of a slower start on it this week. First of all we didn't hear for sure till Tuesday afternoon. There was alot of craziness going on when the news came in (long story - there is a quick synopsis of it on my facebook timeline) and we have had some crazy weather this week, too, and thus had people home from school who were not usually here, etc. And we're trying to get people trained in for our paper routes too, so have been busy with that, alot, this week. Crazy week. I got some small other things done that needed to be done, such as getting the church membership change in the works, since we need it to be up there, when we enroll the kids in school, in order to get that all-important member discount. Rest easy Grace people, we are leaving the memberships of Annie, Sarah and Emma at Grace for now. They'll likely be down here more than they will be up there. Though they have been put on to a church that is apparently just south of Nashville and reportedly has a large population of young adults, so we'll see how things work out in the end, but for now, it's just Lon and I moving our membership.
I tried to get the move entered into the US post office address change site, but apparently they only post one month at a time, of dates available to select from, so that will have to wait. Since we are not up there 'full time' till the 9th, I can do it just after the first.
I got U-haul trucks reserved. That was pretty cool. Looking at when we will pick the truck up (would like to do that Saturday evening, so that we don't have to wait till they are open in the morning, Sunday, to go get the trucks, and that way we could start loading much earlier in the day, Sunday) the preferred thing would be to pick them up just before closing time on Saturday evening. The weeks we have trucks reserved for are March 2 and March 9. March 8 is when we make the switch to Daylight savings time. So the very next weekend, sundown on Sabbath evening will be late enough that we wouldn't be ABLE to go pick up the truck on Saturday evening, as they would be closing before sundown hit, when it's still Sabbath, and we choose not to take part in business transactions. So, the two weekends we are needing trucks are the last two, this year, till fall, that we would be able to get the trucks early. (oh, and yes, I did talk them into just charging us for one day, rather than two, since I'm literally picking up JUST before they close - it took four transfers and explaining it to four different people, but eventually we found the person who could, and he did, cheerfully)
A friend here, whom we were helping out recently with some transportation issues that they had, called and asked if they could help us get boxes, as 're-payment'. So between them, and the load of free boxes that Lon got a couple of weeks ago, and more we may get from a CL ad, we are doing GOOD on boxes. Now we just need to get packing!!
We've spent quite a bit of time planning logistics, and scheduling, etc. So I think, come Sunday, we should be set to start getting serious about the packing that needs to happen.
I'm done with paper routes, so Sunday's should be more productive for us, for sure, no more need to sleep all day!
Mayahna's therapist gave us some great ideas for helping ease the transition for her, and we are working with the boy's counselors and the teachers (here and up there) to simplify things for them too. It's still a lot of unknown, and it IS affecting people's behavior, which makes life challenging. Even more than it usually is. Knowing that I have a 'trauma Mama's' retreat coming up is helping me to 'just deal with it' and not let it get me tied up in a knot.
We are going to still be pretty purposeful about taking time to stop, and 'chill' - having the Olympics to watch in the evenings is helpful. We're enjoying that, quite a lot, right now. That and the fact that we will be switching 'cable' providers and will lose everything that is currently saved on our box. So we do spend some time relaxing, in the evening, watching some of our favorite shows that we have 'taped' before we lose them!
However, you probably wont hear much from me, here, over the next few weeks. Finding time that is not chaotic and full of interruptions is extra challenging. My next post will likely be after we are up in Tennessee.
If you have a minute, and you want to share, I'd love to hear thoughts and ideas for making the move easier for the kids and/or the pets. I do check for comments.
Signing will take place on Feb 28 and we will be all moved up there by March 9, hopefully.
So we are in the 'packing mode' now, though I've taken a bit of a slower start on it this week. First of all we didn't hear for sure till Tuesday afternoon. There was alot of craziness going on when the news came in (long story - there is a quick synopsis of it on my facebook timeline) and we have had some crazy weather this week, too, and thus had people home from school who were not usually here, etc. And we're trying to get people trained in for our paper routes too, so have been busy with that, alot, this week. Crazy week. I got some small other things done that needed to be done, such as getting the church membership change in the works, since we need it to be up there, when we enroll the kids in school, in order to get that all-important member discount. Rest easy Grace people, we are leaving the memberships of Annie, Sarah and Emma at Grace for now. They'll likely be down here more than they will be up there. Though they have been put on to a church that is apparently just south of Nashville and reportedly has a large population of young adults, so we'll see how things work out in the end, but for now, it's just Lon and I moving our membership.
I tried to get the move entered into the US post office address change site, but apparently they only post one month at a time, of dates available to select from, so that will have to wait. Since we are not up there 'full time' till the 9th, I can do it just after the first.
I got U-haul trucks reserved. That was pretty cool. Looking at when we will pick the truck up (would like to do that Saturday evening, so that we don't have to wait till they are open in the morning, Sunday, to go get the trucks, and that way we could start loading much earlier in the day, Sunday) the preferred thing would be to pick them up just before closing time on Saturday evening. The weeks we have trucks reserved for are March 2 and March 9. March 8 is when we make the switch to Daylight savings time. So the very next weekend, sundown on Sabbath evening will be late enough that we wouldn't be ABLE to go pick up the truck on Saturday evening, as they would be closing before sundown hit, when it's still Sabbath, and we choose not to take part in business transactions. So, the two weekends we are needing trucks are the last two, this year, till fall, that we would be able to get the trucks early. (oh, and yes, I did talk them into just charging us for one day, rather than two, since I'm literally picking up JUST before they close - it took four transfers and explaining it to four different people, but eventually we found the person who could, and he did, cheerfully)
A friend here, whom we were helping out recently with some transportation issues that they had, called and asked if they could help us get boxes, as 're-payment'. So between them, and the load of free boxes that Lon got a couple of weeks ago, and more we may get from a CL ad, we are doing GOOD on boxes. Now we just need to get packing!!
We've spent quite a bit of time planning logistics, and scheduling, etc. So I think, come Sunday, we should be set to start getting serious about the packing that needs to happen.
I'm done with paper routes, so Sunday's should be more productive for us, for sure, no more need to sleep all day!
Mayahna's therapist gave us some great ideas for helping ease the transition for her, and we are working with the boy's counselors and the teachers (here and up there) to simplify things for them too. It's still a lot of unknown, and it IS affecting people's behavior, which makes life challenging. Even more than it usually is. Knowing that I have a 'trauma Mama's' retreat coming up is helping me to 'just deal with it' and not let it get me tied up in a knot.
We are going to still be pretty purposeful about taking time to stop, and 'chill' - having the Olympics to watch in the evenings is helpful. We're enjoying that, quite a lot, right now. That and the fact that we will be switching 'cable' providers and will lose everything that is currently saved on our box. So we do spend some time relaxing, in the evening, watching some of our favorite shows that we have 'taped' before we lose them!
However, you probably wont hear much from me, here, over the next few weeks. Finding time that is not chaotic and full of interruptions is extra challenging. My next post will likely be after we are up in Tennessee.
If you have a minute, and you want to share, I'd love to hear thoughts and ideas for making the move easier for the kids and/or the pets. I do check for comments.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
oh well, ALMOST made it....
10 out of 12 for last year, isn't TOO bad. (for those who don't know, I had set a goal of posting at least once every month, last year. I almost made it)
Life started to get just a little crazy in November. Lon and I decided (with some nudging from On High) that it might be time to start looking toward moving up to Tennessee to be a bit closer to Lon's work. So, for our anniversary this year, we went up and stayed in a little town, called Woodbury, not far out of Murfreesboro, Tennessee. It is an area that has intrigued us because it is very pretty, and reminded us of our experiences growing up in the Willamette Valley (though it is decidedly missing the snowy peaks in the distance, but you can't have it ALL!) There is even a little town not far from Woodbury that is named McMinnville - story goes that the man who founded McMinnville, Oregon came there from McMinnville, Tennessee, and it seemed so similar that he named it the same. We can see why.
Anyway, we went back up in January, twice, and eventually found a place that will work quite well for us. But, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. Many of you know that we have had, for quite some time, a long-term goal of running a small Christian retreat center as a family business. 6-8 small cabins and a small lodge, where groups can come away and have some 'down time' together. We also hoped to be able to offer it as a wedding venue location, possibly... So, we were not 'just' looking to be closer to Lon's work, we were also wanting to choose a location where we might start that business. Or, at the very least, hopefully be in or near that community now, so that we could start getting familiar with things, and be in a better position to be ready to buy, if the right piece of property came available.
Lon has this thing, where he believes God talks directly to him. I'm still a little unsure what to think about it all, but let's just say that God told Lon a specific area where we should focus our attention when it came to looking for land to purchase. We were open to just getting near to there, for now, with the goal of eventually getting a larger piece of property in that specific area.
We went up twice in January, as I mentioned, and eventually found the place we have made an offer on. There were several others that had great potential, but this one HAS it, and it's not potential, it's in very good shape and needs very little work. We didn't sit down and write a list of things we were looking for, though we did have a pretty good idea because of other such lists, in our not-too-distant-past. But the more I think about the things that WOULD have been on that list, this place has every one of them (there is ONE small exception, but we think we are going to be able to do a work-around on that).
We wanted enough property to start doing more gardening... check. Maybe put in a small orchard... check (some fruit trees are already there!). Space to put up a green house maybe... check. And berry bushes... check. Room for goats, maybe a llama or two, and of course our chickens, check, check and check. Annie may even want to get a horse, so there needs to be a place for that, too... check. Space for Lon to do his woodworking and also a place for him to set up an office so that when he does work from home, he is more remote from the rest of the family so he gets fewer interruptions... check and check. Space for me to do my various forms of artwork more easily, which means room for a kiln, a wheel, a loom, stained glass work supplies and tools, and, of course the obligatory 'crafting' and 'sewing' space also... check, check, check... you get the picture... A house with smaller bedrooms than the enormous ones we have now, and larger living spaces than the TINY ones we have now... check and check (YEAH!). Hardwood floors would be nice, (I'm really liking carpet less and less as time goes by, particularly with cats in the house now)... check. A kitchen floor that doesn't show every little thing you drop on it... check! The girls were all hoping for their own rooms... check, check, and check. Emma wanted woods and a creek... check, and check (times two, on the creek!) She also wanted a SMALL room (she likes small, cozy spaces)... check. I wanted a quiet street... check. The boys want a place to put up a tree fort and a tire swing... check and check. A willow tree would be lovely... check. Some sort of storm shelter or basement... check. I wanted a church community where home schoolers were not looked askance at, because we were not supporting the little Adventist school that the community was working so hard to keep alive... HUGE CHECK! - (more on this miracle later) A screened porch would be nice... (this one will take a little bit of work, but VERY do-able) check. Maybe even room to start practicing with some cob construction techniques so that we are ready to start building when the time comes for the retreat center... check! (the only thing we really WANT that it doesn't have is a good-sized utility room with a utility sink. We are thinking we'll be able to add that to a little lean-to that is on the side of the garage, we'll see.)
So, you can see that the house/land seem pretty perfect (there are almost 5 acres, by the way, because I know some of you are numbers. people, and the house has about 3300 sf) AND our payments will be several hundred dollars less than our rent is now.
There is also a time-line issue that you should be aware of. I was hoping to make a trip out to the west coast this year, to be at Oregon Campmeeting in July. Then, it turns out there is a good reason for Lon to be a Walla Walla Alumni weekend this year, in late April. So, we were thinking we would go out, for that, and then the kids and I would just stay, through till July for campmeeting... just visit various family and friends, and hunker down here and there, and do some school wherever we are... etc... I was REALLY hoping that we could work it out so that we ended our lease here, just before we left, and then, didn't start our payments up there, till we got back... how perfect would THAT be? No house payment for three months, while we were essentially RVing it. So I was wanting to move a bit more slowly, and not rush things.
So, I was not excited, when it worked out best for us to make two trips in quick succession right after the first of the year, to look at things... and then we FOUND it. But Lon asked me to pray that I would be open to God's timing on things.
When we went up in November, we had taken time to go to the little school there, and meet the teacher. I was (am) so impressed!! First of all, when we walked in, she was sitting at her table, 'checking their folders' which looks very much like what we do, to end our school day. Then she spent an hour and a half chatting with us! On a Friday afternoon!! We will work very well together!! There are several families that do and/or have homeschooled. They transition easily in and out of the school and it's never a problem. I think she will have an easy time understanding some of the issues we have with the younger kids, (she even has some 'foster' kids living with her right now!) and I can see that even if my kids are all at home, she and I will be very good friends. But several things she said, on that first meeting made me think that maybe it would be better for at least some of the younger kids to be with her. AND she is willing to take Ricky on, and see if that works too. So we were planning, right away, to at least put Ricky with her, and get him out of the public schools (though we had also met with the public school teacher, while we were there in November, and felt it was a pretty good option for him too) anyway, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that perhaps Tommy should be there too, and maybe even Mayahna also. Then I started thinking about what I could do with my time, if the three of them were in school. The idea of focusing on Emma for a while sounded pretty nice. I was envisioning she and I doing animal care, and gardening as part of her school, and really getting her strong in her scholastics, so that she places well in the SAT/ACT's and gets national merit scholarship money to help pay for college, since she wants to be a vet. I REALLY started liking that idea. PLUS, since putting Ricky in school, he and I have started having a much better time together. So, I'm kind of hoping that will be the case with Mayahna too. If I get some 'respite' every day, then when she is home in the evenings I will be able to be more of the kind of mom she needs me to be.
So, as I started thinking about transitions to school, and the trip and all of that, God really did bring my heart around, and we have changed the plans for the trip. We won't be doing campmeeting this year, just alumni weekend. And not all of us, just some. And that opened the door for the move to happen sooner, and so then we started thinking why not put the kids in school this spring, rather than waiting for next fall... etc. And suddenly, rather than dragging my feet, and trying to slow things down, I'm ready for it to happen FASTER. And when we made the offer we put in a closing date of Feb 28. We thought they would probably bump it out a month, as we happen to know that they have a vacation planned for two weeks of February, but they did not... so it looks like we are going to be moving in about 5 weeks time. And when I called the teacher, to make sure that it would work for the kids to start right away, she said it was PERFECT, they will start the day after spring break is over, which is the first day of the last week before a new grading period. They will spend that last week of the old grading period, sort of in 'orientation' and then they will be 'on record' at the beginning of a new term.
It's all happened so fast, but I can definitely see God's hand in it. I'm still a little nervous about the funding on the loan. Lon IS in a contract position, after all, and that can complicate things. The mortgage broker didn't seem to think so, but we won't know for sure till we get funded by the underwriters. That should happen within the next two weeks.
So, if you are the praying type, please keep that funding situation in mind, and ask that God's hand work in the way that will bring glory to Him. Already there have been so many miracles that have happened in relation to this property, and how perfect it is of a fit for us, and how well the timing has worked out, etc... WE feel it's the one He wants us to have, we know He wants to give us good gifts (today's text at church was even I John 1:9!) but it won't be clear completely until we have the loan in hand. Also, please help me to relax into the knowledge that if this one doesn't work, that He has something better in mind for us. (we even found another 'perfect' house, as we were looking, before we saw this one, that had an offer on it already, so it was not available - so as disappointed as we were that we couldn't get that one... we knew then, that God had something better for us... this one seems to be it, but if the funding doesn't work, then there must be something even BETTER that he has in mind!)
Oh, did I mention that the house is IN the area Lon felt God leading him to look in, and that there are three different large pieces of land behind us, that we may be able to purchase in the future? Two of them are even uninhabited land, so that means that they SHOULD be easier to purchase, when/if we reach that point. God is SO good. As I look at the list, that we never wrote, and how He saw to it that all of the little details are tended to and provided for abundantly, and when I think about the time-line, of when we went up to look, and when the kids will start school, now that the move date is set when it is, and the fact that the owners have another person in line, now, that will buy it if we don't - if we had waited even another week or two, we may not have gotten it... God is CLEARLY in control. What a blessing it is to be a child of God, and have His hand in our lives, working all things to the good on our behalf!!
I guess, when we move, I'll have to change the name of the blog to 'Our Tennessee Adventure'!
Life started to get just a little crazy in November. Lon and I decided (with some nudging from On High) that it might be time to start looking toward moving up to Tennessee to be a bit closer to Lon's work. So, for our anniversary this year, we went up and stayed in a little town, called Woodbury, not far out of Murfreesboro, Tennessee. It is an area that has intrigued us because it is very pretty, and reminded us of our experiences growing up in the Willamette Valley (though it is decidedly missing the snowy peaks in the distance, but you can't have it ALL!) There is even a little town not far from Woodbury that is named McMinnville - story goes that the man who founded McMinnville, Oregon came there from McMinnville, Tennessee, and it seemed so similar that he named it the same. We can see why.
Anyway, we went back up in January, twice, and eventually found a place that will work quite well for us. But, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. Many of you know that we have had, for quite some time, a long-term goal of running a small Christian retreat center as a family business. 6-8 small cabins and a small lodge, where groups can come away and have some 'down time' together. We also hoped to be able to offer it as a wedding venue location, possibly... So, we were not 'just' looking to be closer to Lon's work, we were also wanting to choose a location where we might start that business. Or, at the very least, hopefully be in or near that community now, so that we could start getting familiar with things, and be in a better position to be ready to buy, if the right piece of property came available.
Lon has this thing, where he believes God talks directly to him. I'm still a little unsure what to think about it all, but let's just say that God told Lon a specific area where we should focus our attention when it came to looking for land to purchase. We were open to just getting near to there, for now, with the goal of eventually getting a larger piece of property in that specific area.
We went up twice in January, as I mentioned, and eventually found the place we have made an offer on. There were several others that had great potential, but this one HAS it, and it's not potential, it's in very good shape and needs very little work. We didn't sit down and write a list of things we were looking for, though we did have a pretty good idea because of other such lists, in our not-too-distant-past. But the more I think about the things that WOULD have been on that list, this place has every one of them (there is ONE small exception, but we think we are going to be able to do a work-around on that).
We wanted enough property to start doing more gardening... check. Maybe put in a small orchard... check (some fruit trees are already there!). Space to put up a green house maybe... check. And berry bushes... check. Room for goats, maybe a llama or two, and of course our chickens, check, check and check. Annie may even want to get a horse, so there needs to be a place for that, too... check. Space for Lon to do his woodworking and also a place for him to set up an office so that when he does work from home, he is more remote from the rest of the family so he gets fewer interruptions... check and check. Space for me to do my various forms of artwork more easily, which means room for a kiln, a wheel, a loom, stained glass work supplies and tools, and, of course the obligatory 'crafting' and 'sewing' space also... check, check, check... you get the picture... A house with smaller bedrooms than the enormous ones we have now, and larger living spaces than the TINY ones we have now... check and check (YEAH!). Hardwood floors would be nice, (I'm really liking carpet less and less as time goes by, particularly with cats in the house now)... check. A kitchen floor that doesn't show every little thing you drop on it... check! The girls were all hoping for their own rooms... check, check, and check. Emma wanted woods and a creek... check, and check (times two, on the creek!) She also wanted a SMALL room (she likes small, cozy spaces)... check. I wanted a quiet street... check. The boys want a place to put up a tree fort and a tire swing... check and check. A willow tree would be lovely... check. Some sort of storm shelter or basement... check. I wanted a church community where home schoolers were not looked askance at, because we were not supporting the little Adventist school that the community was working so hard to keep alive... HUGE CHECK! - (more on this miracle later) A screened porch would be nice... (this one will take a little bit of work, but VERY do-able) check. Maybe even room to start practicing with some cob construction techniques so that we are ready to start building when the time comes for the retreat center... check! (the only thing we really WANT that it doesn't have is a good-sized utility room with a utility sink. We are thinking we'll be able to add that to a little lean-to that is on the side of the garage, we'll see.)
So, you can see that the house/land seem pretty perfect (there are almost 5 acres, by the way, because I know some of you are numbers. people, and the house has about 3300 sf) AND our payments will be several hundred dollars less than our rent is now.
There is also a time-line issue that you should be aware of. I was hoping to make a trip out to the west coast this year, to be at Oregon Campmeeting in July. Then, it turns out there is a good reason for Lon to be a Walla Walla Alumni weekend this year, in late April. So, we were thinking we would go out, for that, and then the kids and I would just stay, through till July for campmeeting... just visit various family and friends, and hunker down here and there, and do some school wherever we are... etc... I was REALLY hoping that we could work it out so that we ended our lease here, just before we left, and then, didn't start our payments up there, till we got back... how perfect would THAT be? No house payment for three months, while we were essentially RVing it. So I was wanting to move a bit more slowly, and not rush things.
So, I was not excited, when it worked out best for us to make two trips in quick succession right after the first of the year, to look at things... and then we FOUND it. But Lon asked me to pray that I would be open to God's timing on things.
When we went up in November, we had taken time to go to the little school there, and meet the teacher. I was (am) so impressed!! First of all, when we walked in, she was sitting at her table, 'checking their folders' which looks very much like what we do, to end our school day. Then she spent an hour and a half chatting with us! On a Friday afternoon!! We will work very well together!! There are several families that do and/or have homeschooled. They transition easily in and out of the school and it's never a problem. I think she will have an easy time understanding some of the issues we have with the younger kids, (she even has some 'foster' kids living with her right now!) and I can see that even if my kids are all at home, she and I will be very good friends. But several things she said, on that first meeting made me think that maybe it would be better for at least some of the younger kids to be with her. AND she is willing to take Ricky on, and see if that works too. So we were planning, right away, to at least put Ricky with her, and get him out of the public schools (though we had also met with the public school teacher, while we were there in November, and felt it was a pretty good option for him too) anyway, the more I thought about it, the more I thought that perhaps Tommy should be there too, and maybe even Mayahna also. Then I started thinking about what I could do with my time, if the three of them were in school. The idea of focusing on Emma for a while sounded pretty nice. I was envisioning she and I doing animal care, and gardening as part of her school, and really getting her strong in her scholastics, so that she places well in the SAT/ACT's and gets national merit scholarship money to help pay for college, since she wants to be a vet. I REALLY started liking that idea. PLUS, since putting Ricky in school, he and I have started having a much better time together. So, I'm kind of hoping that will be the case with Mayahna too. If I get some 'respite' every day, then when she is home in the evenings I will be able to be more of the kind of mom she needs me to be.
So, as I started thinking about transitions to school, and the trip and all of that, God really did bring my heart around, and we have changed the plans for the trip. We won't be doing campmeeting this year, just alumni weekend. And not all of us, just some. And that opened the door for the move to happen sooner, and so then we started thinking why not put the kids in school this spring, rather than waiting for next fall... etc. And suddenly, rather than dragging my feet, and trying to slow things down, I'm ready for it to happen FASTER. And when we made the offer we put in a closing date of Feb 28. We thought they would probably bump it out a month, as we happen to know that they have a vacation planned for two weeks of February, but they did not... so it looks like we are going to be moving in about 5 weeks time. And when I called the teacher, to make sure that it would work for the kids to start right away, she said it was PERFECT, they will start the day after spring break is over, which is the first day of the last week before a new grading period. They will spend that last week of the old grading period, sort of in 'orientation' and then they will be 'on record' at the beginning of a new term.
It's all happened so fast, but I can definitely see God's hand in it. I'm still a little nervous about the funding on the loan. Lon IS in a contract position, after all, and that can complicate things. The mortgage broker didn't seem to think so, but we won't know for sure till we get funded by the underwriters. That should happen within the next two weeks.
So, if you are the praying type, please keep that funding situation in mind, and ask that God's hand work in the way that will bring glory to Him. Already there have been so many miracles that have happened in relation to this property, and how perfect it is of a fit for us, and how well the timing has worked out, etc... WE feel it's the one He wants us to have, we know He wants to give us good gifts (today's text at church was even I John 1:9!) but it won't be clear completely until we have the loan in hand. Also, please help me to relax into the knowledge that if this one doesn't work, that He has something better in mind for us. (we even found another 'perfect' house, as we were looking, before we saw this one, that had an offer on it already, so it was not available - so as disappointed as we were that we couldn't get that one... we knew then, that God had something better for us... this one seems to be it, but if the funding doesn't work, then there must be something even BETTER that he has in mind!)
Oh, did I mention that the house is IN the area Lon felt God leading him to look in, and that there are three different large pieces of land behind us, that we may be able to purchase in the future? Two of them are even uninhabited land, so that means that they SHOULD be easier to purchase, when/if we reach that point. God is SO good. As I look at the list, that we never wrote, and how He saw to it that all of the little details are tended to and provided for abundantly, and when I think about the time-line, of when we went up to look, and when the kids will start school, now that the move date is set when it is, and the fact that the owners have another person in line, now, that will buy it if we don't - if we had waited even another week or two, we may not have gotten it... God is CLEARLY in control. What a blessing it is to be a child of God, and have His hand in our lives, working all things to the good on our behalf!!
I guess, when we move, I'll have to change the name of the blog to 'Our Tennessee Adventure'!
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