Elliot is gone.

When we woke up on Saturday, he was not holding his head up, and he was having a hard time breathing.  We were supposed to switch back to the essential oils on Saturday morning, and give them one more try, but he was so bad off, and we knew that if he continued to get worse, we would have to go to an emergency vet rather than the nice new vet we met last week.  She was only open from 8-10 on Saturday (only weekend hours) and so we had to make the call that things were definitely getting worse, not better and take him in to help him ease into a restful place.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I've had MANY pets, through the years, but not ONE of them has had to be put to sleep (with the possible exception of the dog my parents still had when I went off to college, I don't remember how he died) all the others have just died or gotten hit by cars or just disappeared (outdoor cats tend to do that).  The vet was VERY kind and very gentle with Sarah.  It was hard for Sarah.  She had been saying, two weeks ago, when we first found out, that she just wanted me to take him, in the morning, and leave him there, and not know when/how it happened.  Over the last two weeks her heart changed and she wanted to be there FOR HIM.  It was HARD for her to do.  At one point, she had to leave the room.  But she came back.  And she held him and talked to him and told him how she would always remember him, and then he was gone.   The vet took him and expressed his bladder and made print of his paw, on a little piece of clay.  And we took him home, to bury him.  She wanted some Panda Express food, and some chocolate milk, so we stopped and picked that up, and she wanted to watch a movie, so we watched Spider Man.  Not your typical Sabbath fare, but everyone else was at church and sometimes you have to just roll with it, and provide comfort for your child in whatever form it needs to be in.  In the afternoon, her friend, Rosee, who is home from academy this weekend, for homeleave, came over and they did some baking in the kitchen and then just hung out.  I think she's going to be ok.  She misses him.  And she is sad.  But she's going to be ok.  She knows that he blessed her, and she blessed him, with the love that they had for each-other, and while it was short, she is glad that she had him.

Lilly was lonely yesterday - Emma was gone on a Pathfinder Caving Adventure, and so she was up in Emma's 'spare oom' all day by herself.  Several of us went up, several times, throughout the day and spent time with her, and Rosee and Sarah took her up to Sarah's room for a while, in the evening.   I'm a tad concerned about her, because her eyes seem to be dilated alot of the time.  It can be in indicator of health issues in cats when their eyes stay dilated, like that, but it can also be fear.  She seems so healthy otherwise, though, so I'm hoping it's just fear, in not knowing what has happened to her little pal.  Poor thing.

Sarah is already talking about getting a new pet.  Maybe an older cat, maybe a kitten.  The vet is going to work with one of the shelters in town, where the cats tend to be more healthy, and help find a good match for Sarah.  We are hoping that Lilly will accept a new friend. 

Some good friends, here in town, got a new dog yesterday.  I thought it was sort of odd, how one family is grieving, and another, is enjoying the fun of a new sweet little pet.  Isn't that how life is? One family grieves, while another has joy.  I remember in the days right after my mother died, being amazed that the sun still came up, and the rest of the people in the world were still just doing the stuff that they would do, anyway.  Life is like that.  It rolls on.  There will be other, more joyful days.  I'm proud of my girl, for just BEING in the sadness, and not trying to push it away.  I'm glad that I was able to be there with her, and for her.  That God has given me enough healing, to not try to stuff it, as I might have done in the past.  What would we do, without that understanding of God being one who wants what is best for us, provides that healing, and has planned a way for us to get out of this broken world and get away from sadness? Indeed.  What would we do?